


Fairy Tail group chat

by PixelChamp



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Bribery, Cereal, Cheating, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fairy Tail Guild - Freeform, Gay Panic, Memes, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Phobias, Sabertooth Guild - Freeform, Swearing, This Is STUPID, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This is trash, Why Did I Write This?, anime crushes, bickslow is a meme god, blue pegasus guild - Freeform, cana is wingwoman, chatroom, crime sorciere guild - Freeform, emos bonding, erza is scary, everyone is a disaster, freed does illegal shit, gray helps with gay thought, gray is protective, gray is wingman, gray lyon and ultear are siblings, lamia scale guild - Freeform, lucy and levy are good hackers, lucy is so sweet, makarov is a blessing, mermaid heel guild - Freeform, natsu is protective, on tests not eachother, other anime references, our children are broke, stupid chat names, the dragon slayers are adopted siblings, these children are depressing, unholy bois, weapon hoarding, wendy romeo and chelia are in highschool, why is that a tag?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2019-10-29 08:44:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 15,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17804804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PixelChamp/pseuds/PixelChamp
Summary: Salamander created: let's be depressed together!Salamander added keys, Scarlet, and frosty to let's be depressed together!Salamander: your names are so dullfrosty: can i leave?





	1. let's be depressed

**Author's Note:**

> Yes i'm aware that this is stupid as hell, but you still clicked.

**Salamander** created: let's be depressed together!

**Salamander** added **keys** , **Scarlet** , and **frosty** to let's be depressed together!

**Salamander** : your names are so dull

**frosty** : can i leave?

**keys** : why are we here?

**frosty** : to suffer

**Scarlet** ; Don't you all have homework?

**Salamander** : Erza dont ruin the mood!

**Scarlet** : Natsu, please use proper grammar. 

**Salamander:** we arent in class so no

**frosty** : you still don't use it in class. At least put on auto correct

**Salamander** : back to names. you guys are boring

**frosty** : not like yours is any better

**Salamander** : the fuck did you say

**frosty** : can you read, dumbass

**Scarlet** : Homework!

**keys:** i would appreciate it if you all shut the hell up

**Salamander:** cmon luce

**Salamander** : luce?

**Scarlet** : She is doing her work, like the rest of you should!

**frosty** : did mine in study hall so ima take a nap

**Salamander** : but guyssssssss

**Salamander** : guys?

**Salamander** : rude


	2. 50 bucks and a deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> asking for answers is costly

**Salamander** added  **Rune** to: let's be depressed together!

**Salamander** changed chatroom name to S.O.S

**Salamander** : help

**Rune** : no

**Rune:**  how did you find me?

**Salamander** : not important. help

**Rune** : what

**Salamander** : with your weird skills i know you got a copy of the tests and answers for Guildarts history class

**Rune** : so what if i did?

**Salamander** : state your price! im going to fail his class he doesnt even teach anything

**Rune** : the test is all common sense, which I don't think you have any, the test isn't even history related

**Salamander** : yes im stupid, just help!

**frosty** : hah, called yourself stupid, finally

**Salamander** : stop fucking ghosting the chat gray!

**frosty** : fuck off

**Rune** : so you still want help?

**Salamander** : yes!

**Rune** : $100

**Salamander:**  you do know im broke right

**Rune** : or $50 and you owe me 3 favors

**Salamander** : is this how your so rich 

**Rune** : congrats, you are not a complete idiot

**frosty** : usual spot freed?

**Rune** : yep

**Salamander** : youve don this before

**frosty** : jesus has your typing gotten shittier

**Rune** : gray you are 21 on the list

**Salamander** : theres a fuckin list?!?

**Rune** : you next?

**Salamander** : sign me up

**Rune** : 22

**Rune** : gtg

**Salamander** : you have more people?

**Rune** : our class isn't small

**Salamander** : how bad are his favors

**frosty** : this is why im paying full

**Salamander** : oh god


	3. Our friends are strange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rune: you tell anyone, i'll make your life a living hell  
> Salamander: T_T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> people actually like this? Thank you so much!

**Salamander** : so i ben thinkin

**frosty** : your grammar fucking hurts.

**Salamander** : im unique

**Salamander** : anyways

**Salamander** : how tf does freed get away with this shit. especially here

**Salamander** : with erza and all

**Scarlet** : I owe him a favor

**Scarlet** : as long as im quiet he wont do anything

**Salamander** : WTF??!!!?

**Salamander** : you tellin me he can be scarier than you

**Scarlet** : he's a demon

**Scarlet** : wait should I be offended?

**keys** : why are you all up at 3 fucking am

**Salamander** : you ever owe freed?

**keys** : yea 

**keys** : wait did you actually go for the second option?

**keys** : you fool!

**Salamander** : i fel like you made a referance

**frosty** : fucking christ natsu, learn how to spell! It's referrence

**Salamander** : i was close!

**Salamander** : so what am i stupid for

**frosty** : you should've paid full

**Salamander** : wtf

**keys** : he does some pretty illegal shit

**keys** : with so many people owing him favors he never gets in trouble

**Salamander** : wtfffffff

**Salamander** : no one tried to say anything?

**Rune** : you tell anyone, i'll make your life a living hell

**Salamander** : T_T

**Rune** : lucy please don't go into more detail

**keys** : sure

**Rune** : now all of you go to sleep so my phone can shut up

**Rune** : or i'll make you regret adding me

**frosty** : freed the dark makes a comeback

 

* * *

 

**frosty** changed chatroom name to FUCK YOUR NAME

**frosty** added **leo the lion** to FUCK YOUR NAME

**leo the lion** : heard you been talkin shit about names nastu

**Salamander** : f u

**Salamander** : y'all are so dull, put some fuckin spirit in it!

**frosty** : y'all

**leo the lion** : your not so fuckin special pyro! you just usin gajeel's nickname for you as a name

**leo the lion** : so fuckin original

**leo the lion** : such flare, much wow

**Salamander** : i did not create this place to be attacked

**Salamander** : you me behind the gym

**Salamander** : you piece of shit

**leo the lion** : let's go ass

**frosty** : wtf happened? 

**frosty** : guys?

**frosty** : fuck this was a mistake

 


	4. Borrowing isn't stealing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rune: you me behind the bookstore at 12  
> leo the lion: but i have a test tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for leaving kudos and comments! Leaves me all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

**Rune** changed chatroom name to Natsu u hoe

**Rune** : natsu u hoe!

**frosty** : he's grounded

**Rune** : i know, that's why i called him a hoe

**frosty** : oh yea, gramps' rules

**Scarlet** : what rules?

**frosty** : well all of natsu's siblings are dating someone

**frosty** : so if one gets grounded, none of them can have anyone over

**frosty** : sting and rogue are another story, but it still sucks for everyone

**leo the lion** : so ur pissed that u can't suck laxus' face?

**Rune** : u goin to regret sayin that

**leo the lion** : I take it back!

**leo the lion** : lord don't hurt me

**keys** : shouldn't you be cleaning right now

**leo the lion** : finished a few mins ago

**Rune** : cleaning?

**Scarlet** : i designed his punishment

**Scarlet** : he has to clean the gym every night for a month

**leo the lion** : cleaning doesn't suit me!

**frosty** : hold up, if you pick punishments....

**frosty** : thats why mine are so fuckin specific!

**Scarlet** : mira helps too

**frosty** : two demons working side by side

**Scarlet** added **little miss demon** to Natsu u hoe

**frosty** : erza wtf

**little miss demon** : hello everyone!

**leo the lion** : she seems so innocent

**leo the lion** : but she's scary as hell

**little miss demon** : what are you going to make loke do, freed?

**Rune** : i almost forgot

**leo the lion** : fuck

**Rune** : you me behind the bookstore at 12

**leo the loin** : but i have a test tomorrow

**leo the lion** : did you just use my words against me

**leo the lion** : are we going to break into a fucking bookstore?

**leo the lion:** dude just wait till the morning

**Rune** : but i need the book now

**Rune** : you just have to stand outside and keep watch

**leo the lion** : what about cameras?

**Rune** : this isn't my first time

**little miss demon** : freed that's illegal

**Rune** : so?

**Rune** : i'll return it

**little miss demon** : what book is so important

**keys** : probably some demon summoning shit

**keys** : that's what he reads with levy and I

**Rune** :...

**keys** : if you die can you say hello to hell for me

**Rune** : yep

**Scarlet** : maybe you wont go to hell

**Rune** : you really believe that?

**Scarlet** : no

**frosty** : loke went quiet

**keys** : and u started ghosting the chat again

**leo the lion** : just stand outside, what if someone questions me

**Rune** : make up a lie

**leo the lion** : u make it sound so easy

**little miss demon** : okay so you get the book, what about material?

**frosty** : walmart

**Scarlet** : they sell that stuff at walmart

**frosty** : they sell everything at walmart, you just have to look hard enough

**Scarlet** : illegal drugs?

**frosty** : different appointments at the back

**keys** : how do you know that, why would you ask that

**Scarlet** : he said everything

**frosty** : freed made me go to one once

**keys** :.....

**keys** : you buy illegal drugs to sell them again don't you?

**Rune** : don't pry into my private life

**keys** : what happened to the innocent freed?

**frosty** : we've all been askin

**frosty** : disappeared once we started high school

**Rune** : life is cruel, so i challenged it

**Scarlet** : and that is what created this child

**little miss demon** : freed u ok?

**Rune** : loke let's go

**leo the lion** : wish me luck

**little miss demon** : good luck!

**keys** : dont get arrested

**frosty** : dont die

**Scarlet** : if you get caught there will be a worse punishment

**leo the lion** : wow, thanks guys (in the most fuckin sarcastic tone ever)

 


	5. Gay problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> frosty: number 1 wingman?  
> goldenkeys: yes you are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i write whenever i feel like, or when an idea won't leave me alone

**keys** changed their name to  **goldenkeys**

**goldenkeys** changed chatroom name to gay thoughts that keep me up

**frosty** : tell me your issues

**goldenkeys** : i can't do it

**frosty** : do what?

**goldenkeys** : i cant tell her

**frosty** : not playing the pronoun game

**goldenkeys** : can't confess to  _her_

**frosty** : is the about juvia?

**goldenkeys** : am i too obvious?

**frosty** : lucy chill

**frosty** : just tell her

**goldenkeys** : I can't!!!!

**goldenkeys** : she's straight

**frosty** : nah, she's hella gay

**goldenkeys** : but she followed you around like a lost puppy all through high school

**frosty** : while checking out all my female friends

**frosty** : she's bi but prefers female

**goldenkeys** : no way

**goldenkeys** : doesn't improve much though

**goldenkeys** : she called me love rival

**goldenkeys** : definitely does not like me

**frosty** : you sure?

**frosty** : heard people 'bully' the person they like

**frosty** : besides

**frosty** : i might have slipped in good notes about you

**goldenkeys** :....

**goldenkeys** : so her opinion of me?

**frosty** : u got a good shot lucy

**frosty** : just ask

**frosty** : worst comes to worst, im finding u the perfect girl

**goldenkeys:** ugh, why are you nice

**goldenkeys** : fine i'll ask

**frosty** : perfect

**frosty** added **water women** to: gay thoughts that keep me up

**goldenkeys** : GRAY

**water women** : juvia has been reading over gray's shoulder

**goldenkeys** : *gay panic*

**water women** : juvia really really likes u

**water women** : perfect time to ask

**goldenkeys** :..........................................................

**goldenkeys** : go out

**goldenkeys** : with me?

**water women** : juvia would love too!

**water women** : juvia has to walk back to the dorm now

**water women** : but we will talk later

**water women** : ok lucy-sama?

**goldenkeys** : absolutely

**frosty** : awwwwwww

**frosty** : just like a movie

**frosty** : so pure

**goldenkeys** : my brain is short circuiting 

**goldenkeys** : why did you do that

**frosty** : cause she was right here

**frosty** : might as well

**frosty** : number 1 wingman?

**goldenkeys** : yes you are

**frosty** : now i gotta finish my project

**frosty** : and u gotta plan ur date

**goldenkeys** : thanks

**frosty** : anytime lucy

 

Behind the screen Lucy wore a wide smile as happy, warm tears fell down her face. "Thank you so much."


	6. demons, name changes, and a wingman oh my!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scarlet: good job, ur now possessed
> 
> rune: cool
> 
> frosty: love how he isn't fazed
> 
> leo the lion: ^

**Salamander** : wow gray, didnt know u could be so nice

**Scarlet** : ^

**leo the lion** : ^ 

**rune** : ^

**little miss demon** : ^

**frosty** :......

**Salamander** : anyways not grounded!

**rune** : bout time

**Salamander** : holy shit so many more people

**frosty** : only added mira and juvia

**Salamander** : demon summoning? 

**Salamander** : tf

**goldenkeys** : how did that go

**water women** : did u get caught?

**leo the lion** : thank the lord no one found us

**frosty** : everyone's here

**rune** : can't remember much

**rune** : so i got the book, got supplies, and set it all up

**rune** : bicks and ever didnt sleep in the apartment last night

**rune** : so im doin the chant

**rune** : and black out

**Salamander** : 0_0

**goldenkeys** : 0_0

**rune** : wake up on the floor

**rune** : everything is neatly put away

**rune** : book on my bed

**rune** : the door was still locked from the inside

**little miss demon** : ..

**Scarlet** : good job, ur now possessed

**rune** : cool

**frosty** : love how he isn't fazed

**leo the lion** : ^

**frosty** : so how's our new couple doin?

**goldenkeys** : im a mess

**water woman** : juvia loves u anyway

**leo the lion** : awww

**leo the lion** : so what now?

**frosty** changed their name to **snowflake**

**Salamander** : really?

**snowflake** : you said our names were boring

**Salamander** : better

**Scarlet** changed their name to **strawberry cake**

**strawberry cake** : i like this more

**snowflake** : ur turn natsu

**Salamander** : no way

**Salamander** : can we talk about something else?

**snowflake** : like?

**strawberry cake** : like how class should be starting

**strawberry cake** : off phones

* * *

 

**goldenkeys** : sir you have another client

**snowflake** : excellent, bring them in

**goldenkeys** added **airbender** to gay thoughts that keep me up

**snowflake** : wendy? u wanted my help

**airbender** : i heard you got lucy and juvia together

**airbender** : so i thought

**airbender** : maybe you could help

**snowflake** : of course

**snowflake** : whats ur problem?

**airbender** : chelia and i are dating

**airbender** : but

**airbender** : i feel like im not doing enough

**airbender** : what if she gets bored of me!

**snowflake** : wendy, ur one of the sweetest girls i know

**snowflake** : ur very loyal and will kick anyones ass if they hurt ur friends

**snowflake** : u try ur hardest to be everyones friend

**snowflake** : and you help people feel happy when they're sad

**snowflake** : u spend so much time to hang out with people

**snowflake** : doing ur very best

**snowflake** : if she thinks thats not enough

**snowflake** : then u call the squad, we will fix it

**snowflake** : so dont give yourself extra anxiety over that

**airbender** : that was so sweet

**snowflake** : sorry i rambled

**airbender** : no, you made me very happy 

**airbender** : lucy was right to talk to you

**snowflake** : ur makin me blush

**airbender** : you made me blush!

**snowflake** : anymore troubles for number 1 wingman?

**airbender** : so sir our session is over

**airbender** : and the client is very satisfied

**airbender** : 5 stars

**snowflake** : u flatter me

**snowflake** : if you have anymore troubles set up an appointment with my secretary

**snowflake** : she knows my schedule better than me

**airbender** : will do sir, thank you

**snowflake** : twas a pleasure

 

 


	7. Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Salamander: sugar sweet and bitter step
> 
> snowflake: natsu stop
> 
> rune: please for the love of god stop blaring it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a new story, We fight and we cry, if anyone wants to check it out or give me suggestions

**Salamander** : sugar sweet and bitter step

**snowflake** : natsu stop

**rune** : please for the love of god stop blaring it!

**goldenkeys** added **bookworm** to gay thoughts that keep me up

**bookworm** : bitch yassss

**snowflake** : why would you do that

**goldenkeys** : she loves anime

**goldenkeys** : now she has someone to rant to

**bookworm** : raise the music

**rune** : levy i will go into gajeel's room and hit you with my book

**bookworm** : if you can get past gajeel

**rune** : he sounds pissed

**goldenkeys** : u all hanging out at the house

**rune** : i'm about to leave

**snowflake** : thought the music was in japanese

**bookworm** : this is BriCie's cover

**bookworm** : makes you want to dance on a stage

**Salamander** : Marmalade and sugar songs, peanuts and a bitter step

**bookworm** : Too sickly sweet and bitter, sends my head into a spin

**Salamander** : Come along and dance with me, party till we lose it all

**bookworm** : And this will be a night to make a mark upon the world

**Salamander** : yeah this is it

**bookworm** : I feel like i'll never look back and never let go

**Salamander** : Marmalade and sugar songs, peanuts and a bitter step

**bookworm** : Too sickly sweet and bitter, sends my head into a spin

**Salamander** : Come along and dance with me, party till we lose it all

**bookworm** : And this will be a night to make a mark upon the world

**Salamander** : yeah this is it

**bookworm** : I feel like i'll never look back and never let go

**Salamander** : yeah, I feel like i'll never look back and never let go

**snowflake** : fucking christ they typed out the entire last half of the song

**goldenkeys** : actually sounds pretty good

**rune** : dammit lucy fell victim

**snowflake** : i'm going to jump out the window

**rune** left gay thoughts that keep me up

**Salamander** added **rune** to gay thoughts that keep me up

**Salamander** : no one leaves

**rune** : gray i'll jump out with u

**goldenkeys** : is that safe

**rune** : landed in the bushes

**goldenkeys** : U JUMPED???!!

**snowflake** : that or have our ears bleed

**bookworm** : how dare you disrespect the song

**bookworm** : they just hopped the gate and ran

**Salamander** : levy come to my room so we can jam

**bookworm** : hell ya

* * *

 

**rune** : natsu

**Salamander** : im scared

**rune** : time to cash in a favor

**rune** : go on the deep web and purchase me a few items

**bookworm** : the author recommends to never do this

**rune** : what?

**Salamander** : ?

**bookworm** : nothing, continue

**Salamander** : i can't do thta

**Salamander** : hwo the f do i even get to deepweb

**snowflake** : so the more scared he gets, the shittier his writing is

**snowflake** : can i help him so he doesn't get himself killed?

**rune** : sure

**Salamander** : aww gray

**snowflake** : i don't want to die alone

**Salamander** : so u are helping me out of love? 

**snowflake** : whatever helps

**Salamander** : cold

**Salamander** : but its my first time freed

**Salamander** : can't u go easy on me

**rune** : first u got grounded

**rune** : then rose that song to top volume on endless loop

**rune** : so no

**bookworm** : the author is aware that this convo sounds stupid

**snowflake** : levy wtf

**bookworm** : am i talking to u

**bookworm** : no

**bookworm** : so don't talk to me

**snowflake** : cold

**rune** : just ignore her

**snowflake** : i knew adding her was bad

**Salamander** : when do i have to start

**rune** : today, get it over with

**snowflake** : what are we getting

**rune** : i'll send you a list

**strawberry cake** : can i ask why you need stuff

**rune** : no 

**bookworm** : u been ghostin chat

**strawberry cake** : i couldn't just interupt

**bookworm** : author deems this convo over!

**strawberry cake** : wtf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not very proud with this one


	8. memecuisine has entered the chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> leo the lion changed chatroom name to CALM YOUR SHIT
> 
> rune: wtf loke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've injured my tongue to the point of not being able to feel or taste

**leo the lion** added **sparky** to gay thoughts that keep me up

**leo the lion** changed chatroom name to CALM YOUR SHIT

**rune** : wtf loke

**leo the lion** : hes the only one able to make u calm the fuck down

**leo the lion** : it was necessary 

**sparky** : so this is what you've been on

**rune** :......

**sparky** : wait how did you find me?

**leo the lion** : why u usin good grammar?

**sparky** : but I don't capitalize.

**rune** :....

**Salamander** : why the fuck did u add him?!

**Salamander** : now he can bully me here too

**sparky** : so this is why you're failing class,

**sparky** : you're here talking constantly.

**Salamander** : nobody teaches shit

**leo the lion** : i see a mistake

**snowflake** : freed u ded?

**rune** added **memecuisine** to CALM YOUR SHIT

**memecuisine** : im here and im queer!

**rune** : have fun with that

**leo the lion** : i can already feel the regret

**Salamander** : i didnt mean to start anyhting freed

**snowflake** : now i have to deal with this here too?

**memecuisine** : i came here to have a good time and honestly i feel so attacked right now

**rune** : feel my suffering

**snowflake** : i need something to combat this

**snowflake** added **alcoholic** to CALM YOUR SHIT

**alcoholic** : what's up fuckers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone wants anything special they want to see here, leave a suggestion and i'll add it to the list


	9. Fix what you messed up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> snowflake: im on the second level of the library
> 
> snowflake: i can see you crying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a week and this is over 400 hits, thank you!

**goldenkeys** changed chatroom name to gay thoughts that keep me up #2

**goldenkeys** : a new client

**snowflake** : cool

**strawberry cake** : hi

**snowflake** : you

**snowflake** : you asking me for help?

**strawberry cake** : got a problem?

**snowflake** : nope, just surprised

**snowflake** : so what the hell has jellal done

**strawberry cake** : its obvious?

**snowflake** : erza, sis, its VERY obvious

**snowflake** : now what did he do

**strawberry cake** : so remember how we were hanging out with him, ultear, and meredy?

**strawberry cake** : when jellal and i separated from everyone

**strawberry cake** : we tripped, fell, and he landed on top of me

**strawberry cake** : cliche so far right?

**strawberry cake** : we were just about to kiss but

**strawberry cake** : he pushed me away

**strawberry cake** : and said he had someone else

**strawberry cake** : he sounded like he was lying

**strawberry cake** : but why did he have to say that

**snowflake** : erza please dont cry

**strawberry cake** : im not crying!

**snowflake** : im on the second level of the library

**snowflake** : i can see you crying

**snowflake** : come up here i wanna show you something

**strawberry cake** : okay

 

**snowflake** created a new chatroom

**snowflake** changed chatroom name to You have some explaining to do 

**snowflake** added **101 clones** to You have some explaining to do 

**snowflake** : talk bitch

**101 clones** : how the hell did you find me

**snowflake** : talk or i find u and beat it out of u

**101 clones** : what did i do?!

**snowflake** : you told erza you had someone else

**snowflake** : wtf

**snowflake** : if you didn't like her like that then say it to her face you piece of shit!

**101 clones** : you don't need to beat me up for that

**snowflake** : why the fuck not

**101 clones** : i just needed some time

**101 clones** : yes im a terrible person and im sorry

**101 clones** : i needed to learn how to treat her right

**snowflake** : that doesn't justify lying to her

**101 clones** : i know i made a mistake

**snowflake** : so when are you going to fix it?

**101 clones** : when is she free?

**snowflake** : now

**101 clones** : then right now

**101 clones** : i promise i will fix this

**snowflake** : you better

**snowflake** : or i'll find you

 

gay thoughts that keep me up #2

**goldenkeys** : so how did it go?

**snowflake** : scared the shit out of jellal

**snowflake** : he's meeting up with her now

**Salamander** : you should have sent me after him

**snowflake** : natsu, u would have strangled him

**Salamander** : damn right

**Salamander** : also

**Salamander** changed their name to **spicy~**

**spicy~** : well?

**snowflake** : better

* * *

**strawberry cake** added **101 clones** to gay thoughts that keep me up #2

**strawberry cake** : gray, you angel

**snowflake:**  so how'd it go?

**101 clones** : we're dating

**101 clones** : and i know to not upset you again

**snowflake** : good

**snowflake** : now please go to sleep

**snowflake** : its four in the morning


	10. Something is brewing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shooby doo fucking bop: he tried to drive a car
> 
> shooby doo fucking bop: and crashed it
> 
> goldenkeys: natsu ur motion sickness
> 
> snowflake: u fucking idiot

**airbender** : is it okay if I add some people?

**spicy~** : go ahead wendy

**airbender** added **shooby doo fucking bop** , **sky empress** , **happy** , **carla** , **lily** , **cubellios** , **romeo** , **bitch im a bird** , **mulan** , **gramps** , **MAN** , **sniper** , and **kinana** to gay thoughts that keep me up #2

**spicy~** : jesus

**spicy~** : everyone introduce yoselves

**shooby doo fucking bop** : bitch is it really hard to figure out?

**snowflake** : why did you add your pets?

**snowflake** : are you trying to tell me they all have accounts?

**shooby doo fucking bop** : got a problem?

**goldenkeys** : who is bitch im a bird?

**bitch im a bird** : im lisanna

**mulan** : bisca

**sniper** : alzack

**MAN** : elfman

**goldenkeys** : ^ u were obvious

**sky empress** : Chelia!

**bookworm** : i see what u did there wendy

**airbender** : shh!

**snowflake** : now we have alot of people

**shooby doo fucking bop** : natsu where u hiding?

**spicy~** : no!

**goldenkeys** : ?

**shooby doo fucking bop** : he tried to drive a car

**shooby doo fucking bop** : and crashed it

**goldenkeys** : natsu ur motion sickness

**snowflake** : u fucking idiot

**shooby doo fucking bop** : rat him out gray

**snowflake** : hmm

**spicy~** : gray! dont betray me like that!

**spicy~** : we cant do couple thingies if im grounded!

**snowflake** : we dont do that anyways

**alcoholic** : oh shit

**snowflake** : ill private message u

**shooby doo fucking bop** : im coming salamander!

**spicy~** : T_T

**goldenkeys** : gray hes gonna be pissed

**snowflake** : let him. hes been an ass recently anyway

**snowflake** : got an essay to finish cya

**alcoholic** : hmm

**goldenkeys** : what are you planing? 

**alcoholic** : you'll see

**alcoholic** : only the girls will know tho

**alcoholic** : but give it some time

**goldenkeys** : whatever u say

* * *

 

**little miss demon** : i feel something bad is going to happen

**bitch im a bird** : mira! why didn't u share this chat with us?

**little miss demon** : u never asked

**bitch im a bird** : fair

**bitch im a bird** : what did you mean by something bad?

**little miss demon** : natsu and gray

**bitch im a bird** : seems lik theyre fighting as usual

**little miss demon** : yes but

**little miss demon** : if feels off

**bitch im a bird** : cana said she had something planned

**little miss demon** : no offense to her, but her plans either go well or horrible

**little miss demon** : and this could go really horrible

**alcoholic** : you do know this is in a public chat

**alcoholic** : but ur right

**alcoholic** : but gray is like my brother

**alcoholic** : i just want him to be happy

**bitch im a bird** : aww, that was the sweetest thing i've read in a while

**little miss demon** : they will get through whatever this is

**alcoholic** : i know, but all they need is a little push


	11. Quote the cringe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> memecuisine: what tTH FUCK didjuu do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its the weekend, so now i have time to write

**memecuisine** added **medusa** to gay thoughts that keep me up #2

**memecuisine** changed chatroom name to WTF

**medusa** : u've been hiding this from me why?

**memecuisine:** ur a witness right now

**memecuisine:** freed what didyou do

**memecuisine:** what didju do?

**memecuisine:** what tTH FUCK didjuu do?

**memecuisine:** there are FBI AGENTS OUT SIDE OUR FUCKIN DORM

**memecuisine:** AND YOU JUST SITTING HERE WATCHING YOUTUBE???!!!! **!**

**rune** :....

**memecuisine** : FUCK YOUUUUU

**rune** : :)

**medusa** :...

**medusa** : are you quoting shit again

**memecuisine** : am i?

**memecuisine** : HAVE YOU FUCKING LOOKED OUTSIDE???!!!

**medusa** : freed

**medusa** : freed why?

**rune** : :)

**medusa** : wait where are you, not in your room

**rune** : :)

**medusa** : at least lett me know ur okay

**rune** : you misspelled let

**medusa** : f u

* * *

 

**leo the lion** : fbi?

**medusa** : they left

**memecuisine** : still cant find him

**leo the lion** : LAXUS I ADDED YOU FOR A REASON

**sparky** : I ain't no snitch

**rune** : snitches gets stitches

**medusa** : freed comeback right now

**medusa** : we need to have a talk

**rune** : no 

**rune** : ur just gonna yell at me

**memecuisine** : i'll hold her back

**rune** : no u wont

**rune** : u be yellin at me too

**sparky** : you have to go back eventually

**rune** : no i dont

**rune** : im just gonna be on the run

**rune** : rest of my life

**memecuisine** : I SEE YOOOUUUUU

**medusa** : where?

**memecuisine** : bridgggeeeee

**rune** : fuck

**leo the lion** :?

**leo the lion** : how did u become friends with them again?

**sparky** : I honestly don't remember

**alcoholic** : what's up fuckers?

**leo the lion** : why are you here?

**alcoholic** : fuck you thats why

**sparky** : how did you become friends with her?

**leo the lion** : who the fuck knows

**leo the lion** : probably drunk off my ass desperate 

**leo the lion** : GRAY

**leo the lion** : i knw u ghosting again

**snowflake** : ye?

**leo the lion** : how did i meet cana

**snowflake** : ur discription accutrate

**snowflake** : drunk

**alcoholic** : fucking lightweight

**alcoholic** : both of you

**sparky** : aren't you both underage

**alcoholic** : yep we both under rage

**sparky** : thats not what i meant

**snowflake** : much gay rage

**leo the lion** : do we need to have a talk?

**alcoholic** : thats why i got him drunk

**alcoholic** : my dorm room, now

**leo the lion** : coming

**sparky** : now i'm alone

**sparky** : welp, still grounded thanks to natsu


	12. our plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alcoholic: ok natsu listen up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trying to pass the angst to get to the fluff

**goldenkeys** created a new chatroom

 **goldenkeys** changed chatroom name to what's up?

 **goldenkeys** added **spicy~** to what's up?

 **goldenkeys** : natsu what's going on with you and gray

 **spicy~** : its stupid

 **goldenkeys** : even if it is

 **goldenkeys** : talking about it is the first way to fix it

 **spicy~** :......

 **spicy~** : lucy, how long have gray and i been a couple

 **goldenkeys** : well, you've been dating since junior year of highschool now in our second year of college so, about 4 years

 **spicy~** : so heres the thing, we been dating for that long and he's still shy and nervous about pda like come fuccking on. he is mine and i am his but i cant express that?! the most he will let me do is hold his hand, thats it, no swinging no nothin. just plain ass holding hands. that is bestie level like i dont want to be just that. most people dont eveen know were dating they just think we friends. so when people assume that they think gray is single, news flash assholes he aint. but you still put your dirty hands on him, using the worst damn flirting around. yet gray being the calm guy will just brush it off of nicely decline, but im not calm, ik im possessive as hell. can i show people that?! NO. so when i bring this up to gray, wanting him to be less nervous about us so i can show that he isnt available, he gets mad at me. the fuck am i doing wrong? am i too  pushy?? its partly his fault too right? tf do i do??!!!

 **goldenkeys** : holy shit, never knew you felt that way

 **goldenkeys** : hold on i need a bit of help with this

 **goldenkeys** added **strawberry cake** to what's up?

 **goldenkeys:** erza you have know natsu longer

 **goldenkeys** : you have any advice? i dont want to give the wrong kind

 **strawberry cake** : well what did you have in mind?

 **goldenkeys** : that natsu verbally says that paragraph of emotion to gray

 **strawberry cake** : sounds solid

 **spicy~** : it's that simple?

 **spicy~** : but he doesn't want to talk to me

 **strawberry cake** : i know this is a risky move but

 **strawberry cake** added **alcoholic** to what's up?

 **alcoholic** : ok natsu listen up!

 **alcoholic** : on monday we have those meetings in the cafeteria 

 **alcoholic** : hundreds show up, and anything said or shown there spreads like wild fire

 **alcoholic** : erza you got a good position so you set up a good time towards the end for the finale announcement

 **alcoholic** : natsu u drags gray up on that damn stage, state that your together and give him a kiss

 **alcoholic** : any kind of kiss on the lips

 **goldenkeys** : isnt that a tad bit too, out there?

 **strawberry cake** : i could do that, but this can go two ways

 **strawberry cake** : and i mean that between you and gray

 **goldenkeys** : the school does have plenty of yaoi fangirls so that isnt a problem

 **goldenkeys** : but gray will be super embarrassed

 **strawberry cake** : but it could help his confidence 

 **strawberry cake** : or gray might never talk to natsu again

 **alcoholic** : a risk we have to take!

 **alcoholic** : look natsu

 **alcoholic** : i got gray drunk a few days ago and he spilled the tea

 **alcoholic** : 1, he doesnt want any homophobes to come after you or ruin your families rep

 **alcoholic** : 2, lyon is still kinda a dick about his siblings being gay and all

 **alcoholic** : 3, he's a freaking uke, they are always embarrassed about this about this kind of shit

 **alcoholic** : there are other points but too damn personal

 **alcoholic** : but he really wants to try harder for you

 **alcoholic** : so, how about the plan?

 **spicy~** :....

 **spicy~** : ok but what do i do first

 **goldenkeys** : my suggestion, get both of you on better terms first

 **alcoholic** : then if necessary do my plan

 **spicy~** : okay

 **spicy~** : thanks!

 **goldenkeys** : goodluck natsu!

 **strawberry cake** : wishing the best!

 **alcoholic** : go get 'im!


	13. result

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> memecuisine: gotta get that action lis
> 
> memecuisine: :0
> 
> bitch im a bird: no we are not doing that

**rune** : holy shit

 **medusa** : who came up with that plan?!

 **memecuisine** : fountain of anime nose blood

 **goldenkeys** : you are in here?

 **rune** : in the corner

 **airbender** : video please!

 **alcoholic:** recording it! and it was my plan

 **bitch im a bird** : thats alot of tongue

 **memecuisine** : gotta get that action lis

 **memecuisine** : :0

 **bitch im a bird** : no we are not doing that

 **memecuisine** : aww

 **little miss demon** : yasssss MY SHIP!!!!

 **bitch im a bird** : mira please calm down

 **sparky** : are they breathing?

 **shooby do fucking bop** : probably not

 **bookworm** : the author tried to fix their mess with this plan

 **bookworm** : they think it worked

 **medusa** : ignoring that

 **medusa** : i have never seen a redder face

 **rune** : what about that time we caught you with elfman in the closet?

 **medusa** : freed dont test me

 **rune** : yes ma'am

 **leo the lion** : i think gray just fainted

 **alcoholic** : HA! it worked bitches

 **goldenkeys** : thank god

 **101 clones** : guys

 **strawberry cake** : EVERYONE SCATTER!

 **leo the lion** : ?

 **101 clones** : makarov is coming

 **bookworm** : he runs the college

 **shooby do fucking bop** : forget that, run!

 **airbender** : ?

 **goldenkeys** : while he would never hurt us or hate us getting along like that

 **goldenkeys** : he doesnt want us to cause any destruction

 **goldenkeys** : like the blood coating the floor

 **sky empress** : wait there is actual blood on the floor?

 **memecuisine** : i wasnt joking

 **spicy~** : WTF DO I DO HE FAINTED AND GRAMPS IS ON HIS WAY

 **strawberry cake** : no natsu, he is already there

 **spicy~** : fuckkkjhdnsbcjj

 **rune** : u ded?

 **bookworm** : awkward silence

 **goldenkeys** : levy you didn't need to type that

 **bookworm** : type what?

 **goldenkeys** : .....

 **MAN** : never seen so many people on here at once

 **bitch im a bird** : should we do meetings on this?

 **little miss demon** : sounds good

 **strawberry cake** : shouldn't natsu decide? he did make this

 **leo the lion** : since when does he have control over this?

 **airbender** : we can add whoever we want

 **strawberry cake** : tru

 **sparky** : so meetings here?

 **alcoholic** : guess so

* * *

 **leo the lion** : i heard screams of pain

 **leo the lion** : and a very painful smack

 **strawberry cake** : i watched

 **101 clones** : same, so terrifying 

 **101 clones** : even tho he's kind of short

 **101 clones** : when he's pissed he seems ten times his size

 **strawberry cake** : like a giant

  **leo the lion** : oh god


	14. Regret it now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> memecuisine: if he wants to be identified as a tikki
> 
> memecuisine: THEN HE WILL IDENTIFY AS A TIKKI
> 
> goldenkeys: protective parrot dad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay school tomorrow, tons of homework, so excited T_T

**snowflake** : cana wtf

 **alcoholic** : what? 

 **snowflake** : i know it was you who staged the kiss in front of half the school, which turned into the entire school in ten minutes

 **snowflake** : but who made natsu scream in my face about feelings

 **goldenkeys** : hi

 **alcoholic** : :)

 **snowflake** : why?

 **goldenkeys** : why not?

 **goldenkeys** : it worked

 **snowflake** : it did solve the fight

 **snowflake** : but he screamed it in a public park

 **alcoholic** : thats natsu for ya

 **memecuisine** : i think freed is seriously going to kill natsu

 **alcoholic** : ?

 **memecuisine** : how many times has he been grounded this month?

 **memecuisine** : 3, 4?

 **memecuisine** : that means no laxus for freed

 **goldenkeys** : i think everyone in that house is about ready to kill natsu

 **alcoholic** : so how did it go down after gramps showed up

 **snowflake** : dont ask me

 **snowflake** : i passed out from embarrassment and lack of air

 **snowflake** : i woke up in my dorm room with a gushing mira and erza over how amazing it was

 **101 clones** : long story short

 **101 clones** : natsu gets the shit slapped out of him, he gets grounded, makarov orders erza to get gray to his room, and he dragged natsu home for a talk

 **alcoholic** : fun

 **goldenkeys** : this is not what i expected when i applied here

 **alcoholic** : gray

 **snowflake** : hmm?

 **alcoholic** : the day natsu and u cleared shit up

 **alcoholic** : did that help you get laid?

 **snowflake** : bitch that is none of your business

 **alcoholic** : i'll take that as a yes

 **alcoholic** : that was my goal from the start

 **snowflake** : wtf

 **101 clones** : save that for a private chat

 **leo the lion** : i think he did

 **leo the lion** : he  _was_ limping on his way to the cafeteria

 **snowflake** : fucking snitch

 **leo the lion** : ;)

 **101 clones** : again, save that shit for private chats

 **memecuisine** : what are you the chat police?

 **memecuisine** : :o

 **memecuisine** added **tikki tikki** to WTF

 **tikki tikki** : chat police

 **tikki tikki** : chat police

 **101 clones** : did you add your parrot to the chat

 **alcoholic** : i thought he liked to dress as a totem?

 **memecuisine** : if he wants to be identified as a tikki

 **memecuisine** : THEN HE WILL IDENTIFY AS A TIKKI

 **memesuisine** : and yes i realize its spelled wrong

 **goldenkeys** : protective parrot dad

 **tikki tikki** : parrot dad

 **tikki tikki:**  parrot dad

 **leo the lion** : god i hate this

 **rune** : do you regret pissing me off

 **leo the lion** : YES

 **leo the lion** : how do i remove someone from the chat

 **rune** : you cant

 **leo the lion** left WTF

 **rune** added **leo the lion** to WTF

 **rune** : there is no escape

 **rune** : if i have to stay then so do you

 **leo the lion** : FUCK


	15. Phobias part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> airbender added cobra, yin, and yang to first meeting
> 
> spicy~: goddamn it
> 
> kinana: i dont know why im here but i am
> 
> cobra: same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its.... educational?

**spicy~** changed chatroom name to first meeting

 **spicy~** : i call forth everyone!

 **spicy~** : anyone?

 **snowflake** : hi

 **strawberry cake** : ^

 **goldenkeys** : ^

 **101 clones** : ^

 **rune** : ^

 **sparky** : ^ 

 **bookworm** : ^

 **airbender** : ^

 **alcoholic** : ^

 **leo the lion** : ^

 **little miss demon** : ^

 **memecuisine** : ^

 **water woman** : ^

 **shooby do fucking bop** : ^

 **sky empress** : ^

 **romeo** : ^

 **bitch im a bird** : ^

 **mulan** : ^

 **MAN** : ^

 **sniper** : ^

 **medusa** : ^

 **spicy~** : holy fuck everyone is here!

 **airbender** added **cobra** , **yin** , and **yang** to first meeting

 **spicy~** : goddamn it

 **kinana** : i dont know why im here but i am

 **cobra** : same

 **romeo** : which is which

 **yang** : sting

 **yin** : rogue

 **bitch im a bird** : y r we here

 **little miss demon** : please use full sentences lis

 **bitch im a bird** : no thx

 **little miss demon** : :l

 **snowflake** : why are we here?

 **spicy~** : lets talk

 **leo the lion** : no thanks, something will go wrong

 **spicy~** : SHHHHH thinkin of a good topic

 **spicy~** :......

 **spicy~** : phobias!

 **rune** : no

 **spicy~** : excuse you 

 **spicy~** : i made this chat

 **spicy~** : i can pick the first topic

 **rune** : how do i flip you off in chat

 **leo the lion** : been trying

 **snowflake** : so why phobias?

 **spicy~** : saw a really coool video about some so i wanted everyone to share theirs

 **snowflake** : of course you did

 **spicy~** : whos first?

 **rune** : you picked this so you can go first

 **goldenkeys** : this about to get depressing real quick

 **strawberry cake** : state your fear and its description!

 **strawberry cake** : this is a wonderful bonding idea

 **shooby do fucking bop** : you cant see it but im sweating dropping

 **spicy~** : Autophobia, fear of being alone

 **spicy~** : like when my dad igneel died, i thought i was going to be alone forever

 **spicy~** : but then i met all of you

 **spicy~** : but i think that fear wont leave just yet

 **snowflake** : im coming over

 **snowflake** : keep your window open

 **shooby do fucking bop** : go through the door like a normal person

 **shooby do fucking bop** : dont scale the damn wall

 **snowflake** : like you can talk

 **snowflake** : ive seen you

 **spicy~** : okay freed i went

 **spicy~** : how about you

 **rune** : i never said i'd participate

 **spicy~** : bitch say it

 **rune** : you lucky i cant do shit to you right now

 **kinana** : can i go next?

 **bookworm** : go right ahead

 **kinana** : so i used to have Ophidiophobia, the fear of snakes

 **kinana** : but then i met Erik and his snake cubellios and i lost that fear over how well we connected

 **alcoholic** : aww

 **leo the lion** : have you two kissed yet

 **kinana** : O////O

 **bookworm** : cute

 **shooby do fucking bop** : lily has Astraphobia, fear of thunder and lightning

 **little miss demon** : poor kitty

 **shooby do fucking bop** : EXCUSE YOU HE IS A WARRIOR

 **little miss demon** : poor warrior kitty

 **shooby do fucking bop** : i am offended

 **bookworm** : you cant see it but im sweating dropping

 **shooby do fucking bop** : levy no

 **bookworm** : levy yes

 **memecuisine** : i got Claustrophobia, ya kno tight spaces are bad

 **tikki tikki** : tight bad

 **leo the lion** : Nyctophobia, fear of the dark

 **leo the lion** : thats why i have a kickass light ring

 **sparky** : Atychiphobia, fear of failure

 **sparky** : dont want to disappoint the old man again

 **medusa** : shut up this isnt a pun

 **medusa** : Catoptrophobia, fear of mirrors

 **medusa** : always freaked me out as a child

 **spicy~** : freed you band of buddies went

 **spicy~** : ur turn

 **rune** : Philophobia, fear of love

 **rune** : dont ask shit about it

 **memecuisine** : want a hug?

 **rune** : since when do u ask

 **memecuisine** : thats right, headed to ur room

 **medusa** : coming

 **rune** : no thank you

 **snowflake** : juvia and i have some pretty ironic ones

 **water woman** : Hydrophobia, water

 **snowflake** : Cryophobia, ice or cold

 **goldenkeys** : do we get a story

 **snowflake** : nope

 **water woman** : i'll tell u about mine later

 **spicy~** : wtf i thought you loved the cold!

 **snowflake** : it complicated

 **snowflake** : some days i do some days i dont

 **bookworm** : Somniphobia, SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK

 **bookworm** : i read too many scary stories

 **goldenkeys** : same

 **strawberry cake** : Lilasophobia, tornadoes and hurricanes are fucking scary

 **101 clones** : i feel u

 **alcoholic** : Ecclesiophobia, fear of churches

 **alcoholic** : yeah i know i kind of grew up in one

 **alcoholic** : but have you ever been in one at night

 **alcoholic** : creepy as hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm splitting up this chapter because i actually want something to come out this week.  
> Also trying to match up characters to phobias is kinda hard  
> I also realized that the mood of this chapter is a roller coaster, up in comedy down in fear, and repeat


	16. Phobias part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spicy~: i honestly cant believe you just participated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy cow 1031 hits?!  
> And yeah i left some characters out but i honestly couldn't think of anything really good and I wanted to get this out

**spicy~** : churches are freaky

**alcoholic** : let's not get too much into that

**shooby do fucking bop** : i got one, Amaxophobia riding in a car

**airbender** : Emetophoiba fear of vomiting

**shooby do fucking bop** : and this is why we walk to school/class

**goldenkeys** : makes sense

**cobra** : Amnesiophobia, fear of amnesia

**spicy~** : i honestly cant believe you just participated

**memecuisine** : wait why amnesia

**cobra** : none of your damn business

**kinana** : is it because of that time when i got into an accident and had amnesia for a while?

**cobra** : maybe

**bookworm** : awwwww

**alcoholic** : awwwwww

**little miss demon** : the ships are sailing well

**leo the lion** : what about you mira?

**little miss demon** : Thanatophobia, fear of losing someone

**bitch im a bird** : Hematophobia, fear of blood

**MAN** : Gynephobia, fear of women

**medusa** : excuse me!

**alcoholic** : ahahaha

**yin** : Dishabiliophobia, fear of undressing in front of someone

**yin** : i dont know how people do it

**shooby do fucking bop** : u've always been shy about that kind of shit

**yang** : and finally me

**yang** : Chronophobia, fear of the future

**yang** : i watched too many scary movies

**leo the lion** : u satisfied natsu

**spicy~** : yep

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so when looking up phobia names some are named differently on different sites so its not completely accurate


	17. sibling arguments, they're odd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shooby do fucking bop: i need my fucking emotional support and you snatched it
> 
> cobra: did you say snatched?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i was sick thursday, got my homework friday, just finished it this morning, and showed my dad what an amazing anime black butler is sooo.... here's my crappy donation for the week

**spicy~** changed chatroom name to Gajelly

**shooby do fucking bop** : excuse me?

**spicy~** : you started yelling at me because i stole your 'cuddle buddy'

**shooby do fucking bop** : i did not call her that!

**sparky** : actually you did

**shooby do fucking bop** : you can stay out of this

**shooby do fucking bop** : i need my fucking emotional support and you snatched it

**cobra** : did you say snatched?

**shooby do fucking bop** : did i call for you snake boy

**shooby do fucking bop** : no, so shut the hell up

**yang** : where have i read that line before?

**sparky** : i think levy said a similar line before

**airbender** : what's happening?

**spicy~** : wendy if someone dies it was gajeel's fault

**shooby do fucking bop** : bitch what

**yin** : *gasp*

**yin** : gajeel how dare you swear in front of a child!

**shooby do fucking bop** : rogue, i love you, but shut the hell up

**yin** : D:

**yang** : bitch now hes sad!

**shooby do fucking bop** : you can shut up too blond natsu

**yang** : D:

**spicy~** : bitch he is not a blond version of me

**airbender** : he kinda is

**spicy~** : D:

**cobra** : they're dropping like flies

**airbender** : still confused on what happened

**shooby do fucking bop** : mira got the main part in choir

**shooby do fucking bop** : again

**shooby do fucking bop** : what the hell am i supposed to do?

**airbender** : umm

**airbender** :......

**airbender** : try harder next time?

**sparky** : we need the wingman for this shit

**snowflake** : i handle romance and relationships

**snowflake** : not whatever the fuck this is

**cobra** : you still read everything

**snowflake** : THIS IS A PUBLIC CHAT

**snowflake** : EVERYONE IS GOING TO SEE THIS EVENTUALLY

**snowflake** : AND IF I WANNA GHOST

**snowflake** : THEN I WILL FUCKING GHOST

**snowflake** changed their name to **winter spirit**

**winter spirit** : and im out bitches and wendy

**cobra** : ....wtf

**sparky** : who knows what happened

**sparky** : almost half of us are dead and the rest are confused as hell

**spicy~** : excuse you i am not dead!

**cobra** : shhh

**cobra** : the dead dont speak

**spicy~** : :(

**airbender** : where did this convo go?

**airbender** : wait what did natsu do?

**shooby do fucking bop** : dragged levy into his room to binge Baccano

**shooby do fucking bop** : what does that name even mean?!

**spicy~** : hi yes its me from the grave

**spicy~** : IF YOU WATCHED IT WITH US YOU WOULD'VE HAD YOUR CUDDLE BUDDY AND HAVE GOOD ENTERTAINMENT!!!!!!!


	18. best stripper????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> airbender: this chat is garbage
> 
> spicy~: *le gasp!*
> 
> spicy~: wendy! this place isnt garbage
> 
> spicy~: its a dump

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today at high school there was this racial fight and several police had to break it up. After that it was a boring day when half the school just decided to leave

**leo the lion** : bitch i cannot believe porlyusica's class!

**leo the lion** : complete bullshit!

**rune** : it wasnt that hard

**leo the lion** : hoe you cannot complain you already read the entire book!

**strawberry cake** : it was unfair but we did have a sub

**sparky** : you got to eat food in her class?!

**strawberry cake** : no you dumbass, sub is short for substitute teacher

**winter spirit** : i fucked it up

**little miss demon** : what happened

**leo the lion** : we readed that novel or whatever

**leo the lion** : our class was shortened to 40 mins

**leo the lion** : we had to read 76 pages and write a one page summary

**leo the lion** : WTF

**winter spirit** : i read 50 pages and wrote a short paragraph

**rune** : you dick, she doesnt give a shit about length

**rune** : if you did something she gives you a hundred

**strawberry cake** : but i actually wrote a whole page

**winter spirit** : watch when i get a hundred

**leo the lion** : i will beat the shit out of you

**winter spirit** : watch your tongue i got a dangerous boyfriend on here

**winter spirit** : he loves to beat the shit out of people who threaten me

**leo the lion** : he doesnt scare me!

**strawberry cake** : NO FIGHTING!!!!

**leo the lion** : si! si señora!

**sparky** : no

**sparky** : dont you fucking dare

**strawberry cake** : ?

**sparky** : bitch you know im shit at spanish!

**rune** : lax, it isnt that hard

**sparky** : stfu, your smart

**rune** : .-.

**winter spirit** : he fuck is thta

**rune** : the fuck is your grammar

**winter spirit** : fair

**leo the lion** : got more work, adios!

* * *

**101 clones** : hangnails

**101 clones** : they're a bitch

**101 clones** : the hell is their point of existence?

**101 clones** : to make us suffer?!

**romeo** : i feel you

**romeo** : you try to peel it off but more skin comes off than expected

**romeo** : then your left with even more hangnails to peel off than what you started with

**romeo** : and its painful

**101 clones** : glad i'm not alone in this

**romeo** : same

......(idk a few minutes later?)................

**sniper** : what just happened?

* * *

**shooby do fucking bop** : i genuinely am curious

**shooby do fucking bop** : out of everyone here

**shooby do fucking bop** : who would make the best stripper?

**spicy~** : gray duh

**spicy~** : he has this amazing stripping power

**sparky** : i dunno

**sparky** : freed is really flexible

**sparky** : and has a feminine figure

**yin** : it could be sting

**yin** : he does have a habit of wearing crop tops

**yang** : hell yeah!

**yang** : i'd make an awesome stripper!

**bookworm** : im dying right now

**leo the lion** : WE KNOW YOU LOVE YOUR BOYFRIENDS BUT KEEP THIS SHIT PRIVATE

**shooby do fucking bop** : NO

**shooby do fucking bop** : 3 great candidates

**shooby do fucking bop** : i suggest a vote

**airbender** : where did this even come from?

**shooby do fucking bop** : you ever get these random thoughts in your head?

**airbender** : this chat is garbage

**spicy~** : *le gasp!*

**spicy~** : wendy! this place isnt garbage

**spicy~** : its a dump

**spicy~** : the place where we dispose of stupid shit to decrease our over flowing minds

**spicy~** : to delay our inevitable mental breakdowns

**spicy~** : truly a great place  

**airbender** : can i leave?

**spicy~** : no

**shooby do fucking bop** : guys our vote!

**yang** : not everyone is here!

**shooby do fucking bop** : dammit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'm Gray with that paragraph paper, and i got a hundred
> 
> uhh, who would be best stripper?
> 
> i don't know where these thoughts come from


	19. We have a winner! And weapon hoarding?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cobra: wait you hoard weapons too?
> 
> cobra: we have to share our collection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me start this by saying sorry for replying to the comments from last chapter so late. This past week has been HELL, with us officially being on spring break now for 10 days, teachers wanted to pack everything in. Even now I have stuff to study for next big bio test, extra credit bio project, the week back is full of testing, and monday i'm getting braces following to tuesday to get oral surgery cause two of my teeth won't come down. yay  
> I am also working on a new story (yes I know i have enough right now), it's been stuck in my head for a while and happy to be writing it. It's also freed-centric if any of you are interested. 
> 
> Please enjoy this chapter

**rune** : bitch excuse you

**rune** : MY BODY IS NOT FEMININE

**rune** : I AM LEAN WITH MUSCLE

**rune** : YOU PIECE OF SHIT

**rune** : I AM NO LONGER IN THIS CONTEST

**sparky** : :(

**cobra** : holy shit

**shooby do fucking bop** : but freed we need people

**shooby do fucking bop** : we need to VOTE

**rune** : FUCK YOUR VOTE

**winter spirit** : can I leave the vote too?

**shooby do fucking bop** : NO!

**yang** : can i win by default

**shooby do fucking bop** : NO WE NEEEEEED A VOTE!!!!!!

**winter spirit** : i forfeit

**yang** : yasssss

**shooby do fucking bop** : :(

**shooby do fucking bop** : im gonna go cry in a corner

**shooby do fucking bop** changed their name to **theblues**

**leo the lion** : nice

**little miss demon** : :0

**little miss demon** : gajeel you can have the main role when singing the blues!

**theblues** : FuCH Ze BluES!

**memecuisine** : boi are you ok

**leo the lion** : hes sadboi now

**theblues** : *SCREECH*

**bookworm** : bitch open your window im scalin it

**yang** : wait levs no

**memecuisine** : cute nickname

**yang** : ikr

**leo the lion** : wait you can scale walls now?

**bookworm** : iceboi taught me

**leo the lion** : gray, u and freed working together to kill us off?

**rune** : what do you mean by that

**leo the lion** : u both teach us how to do very dangerous things

**rune** : no

**rune** : i do illegal shit

**rune** : gray just teaches people how to climb and handle weapons

**memecuisine** : wait what

**rune** : hmm?

**yang** : DID YOU CLIMB THE WALLLLL??!!!????

**bookworm** : ye

**yang** : :O

**yang** : wait

**yang** : iceboi teach me ur ways

**yang** : i need to know how to sneak in and out

**winter spirit** : it will cost a bit

**leo the lion** : see what i mean

**leo the lion** : u two can be scary

**winter spirit** : ;)

**rune** : ;)

**memecuisine** : are we going to forget that gray likes to hoard weapons?

**memecuisine** : and teach people to use them

**winter spirit** : shhhhh

**cobra** : wait you hoard weapons too?

**cobra** : we have to share our collection

**winter spirit** : hell yes

**sparky** : no

**sparky** : i thought gramps made you throw those out

**cobra** : i threw out half

**sparky** : that was ONLY HALF

**winter spirit** : oh those were yours?

**winter spirit** : i kept them

**cobra** : oh thank god

**leo the lion** : im scared

 

 

 

 

 


	20. Near death by hades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> winter spirit: we all the best though
> 
> theblues: smh shit u right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah this is short (all of them are short, tf am I talking about), got my braces today but only on my top row. Its pressing up against a tooth i'm getting removed tomorrow and it hurts like hell

**winter spirit** : ever get these moods where you want to listen to sad ass music

**winter spirit** : and it makes you feel better

**theblues** : how the fuck do you think i feel right now?

**winter spirit** : sorry i dropped out of your contest

**winter spirit** : we all the best though

**theblues** : smh shit u right

**leo the lion** : bitches not now, we is in class

**leo the lion** : hades will kill us if we start laughing

**theblues** : fuck hades, dude should be a pile of dust

**theblues** : he was old when gramps was young

**winter spirit** : but you have to admit, his beard looks cool

**leo the lion** : it does

**theblues** : how long do you think it took to grow it?

**winter spirit** : how old is he?

**winter spirit** : probably started its growth as soon as puberty hit

**leo the lion** : SHIT HES LOOKIN

**leo the lion** : CODE RED CODE RED!!!!!!

**spicy~** : how's history?

**spicy~** : .....

**spicy~** : guys its been five minutes

**spicy~** : u ded?

**spicy~** : now its been ten

**rune** : i think we lost them

**memecuisine** : im in the back of their classroom

**memecuisine** : i snuck in

**memecuisine** : they're not here

**memecuisine** : neither is hades

**rune** : welp

**rune** : they dead

**spicy~** : time to go find a new boyfriend

**bookworm** : shit me too

* * *

 

**winter spirit** : ayyy

**winter spirit** : guess whos back bitches

**winter spirit** : wait were you going to replace me?!

**spicy~** : NO

**spicy~** : IT WAS A JOKE I SWEAR

**winter spirit** : :(

**winter spirit**  left Gajelly

**spicy~** added **winter spirit** to Gajelly

**spicy~** changed chatroom name to pls don't leave me

**winter spirit** left pls don't leave me

**spicy~** added **winter spirit** to pls don't leave me

**winter spirit**  left pls don't leave me

**spicy~**  added  **winter spirit**  to pls don't leave me

**winter spirit** : FUCKING LET ME LEAVE!

**spicy~** : NO!

**winter spirit** : :(

 

 


	21. Wendy why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> goldenkeys: wendy why
> 
> airbender: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My laptop is on the verge of death

**spicy~** : 0_0

**spicy~** : wendy why

**spicy~** : wendy what hav you done?!

**spicy~** : did he make you do this

**airbender** : no regerts

**spicy~** : wendy this is not the time!

**winter spirit** : did you finally notice?

**spicy~** : YOU KNEW????

**winter spirit** : i can read

**bookworm** : you know a few people noticed right

**spicy~** : why didnt any say anyzin

**winter spirit** : aww dammit

**bookworm** : natsu go back to english class

**spicy~** : im panic!

**airbender** : panic! at the disco?

**spicy~** : wendy

**spicy~** : kindly shut up

**goldenkeys** : what?

**spicy~** : GRAMPS

**spicy~** : I KNOW U IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**gramps** : yo

**goldenkeys** left pls don't leave me

**airbender** added **goldenkeys** to pls don't leave me

**goldenkeys** : wendy why

**airbender** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**theblues** : shit i didnt kno he was here

**theblues** : why isnt he saying anyhting

**gramps** : i'm just here to make sure you all behave

**gramps** : Erik, Gray, Freed

**gramps** : we're going to have a talk

**rune** : time to go on the run again

**winter spirit** : im headed to you

**cobra** : ^

**gramps** : natsu go get them

**gramps** : or you will be grounded for a week

**theblues** : you better fucking catch them

**theblues** : im coming as backup

**gramps** : other than that carry on

**goldenkeys** : ......

**airbender** : see,

**airbender** : not so bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry its short but I have writers block


	22. Unholy Trinity of Emos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rune: wanna go crash an occult meeting with me tomorrow?
> 
> winter spirit: fuck yea
> 
> cobra: ^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's FINALLY the weekend.  
> So this chapter is dedicated to StarfireXL, cause jesus christ I check my gmails and there is 13 comments in total. They all made me laugh. So here's this garbage.  
> I will also be replying to comments in notes now (because i haven't replied to some yet and I feel bad).
> 
> Telescora- I pray this stays pure gold and doesnt rot away  
> Cheschire_Kaat- glad you like it

**cobra** created a new chatroom

**cobra** added **winter spirit** and **rune**

**cobra** changed chatroom name to Unholy Trinity of Emos

**winter spirit** : yass

**rune** : fucking christ it 2am

**cobra** : since when do you even sleep?

**rune** : tru

**winter spirit** : what was everyone's punishment?

**cobra** : i live in a closet now

**cobra** : until they can find the rest of my stash

**rune** : had to give up half of my money

**winter spirit** : grounded from natsu

**rune** : thats it?

**winter spirit** : he's mostly pissed off at you

**rune** : :(

**winter spirit** : naw I also had to give up my weapons

**rune** : are we bad people

**cobra** : na

**cobra** : we're fun

**rune** : so,

**rune** : since we're now part of this unholy group

**rune** : wanna go crash an occult meeting with me tomorrow?

**winter spirit** : fuck yea

**cobra** : ^

**cobra** : what time and where

**rune** : under the bridge at 7

**rune** : we should make it there at 8 if we walk

**winter spirit** : so what's this occult called

**rune** : Avatar

**cobra** : they sound familiar

**winter spirit** : actually in high school i joined them for six months

**winter spirit** : this girl Briar, or somtin, might have developed feelings for me

**winter spirit** : but jerome was a dick

**rune** : but was he good looking?

**winter spirit** : ehhh

**winter spirit** : definitely wasn't ugly

**winter spirit** : but its been years so idk

**winter spirit** : so what u guys doin

**winter spirit** : finishing porlyusica's stupid homework

**rune** : i didnt even start that

**rune** : summing demons

**cobra** : see you dont sleep

**rune** : when you have bickslow living with you, ya dont sleep

**cobra** : watching disney movies

**winter spirit** : u like disney

**rune** : which movie

**cobra** : COCO

**rune** : fuck yeah

**winter spirit** : we all need to binge watch disney movies together

**cobra** : bitch

**cobra** : yasssss

**winter spirit** : wait

**winter spirit** : think of our color scheme

**winter spirit** : blue, green, purple

**rune** : :0

**cobra** : boi

**cobra** : yes

 

(meanwhile in our main chatroom)

**spicy~** : gray stop fucking ghosting the chat!

**sparky** : dragged freed into it too

**yin** : cobra has been quiet too

**yang** : ur one to talk rogue

**airbender** : :o

**yin** : sting, just keep your pretty mouth shut

**yang** : i sense a threat there

**theblues** : laxus go check on cobra

**sparky** : i dont want to go into that closet

**theblues** : then you could come out

**yang** :.....

**sparky** : little too late for that one

**sparky** : but you could go there instead

**sparky** : then it will be your chance to come out

**yin** : :o

**spicy~** : weak comeback

**yin** : natsu shut up

**spicy~** : D:

**sparky** : got some explainin to do

**theblues** : bitch keep ur mouth shut

**airbender** : i thought we all knew gajeel was bi

**theblues** : isn't it okay to has a man crush on an anime character

**spicy~** : yes

**sparky** : when the fuck do you watch anime

**theblues** : if i want my cuddle buddy

**theblues** : i have to endure some anime

**spicy~** : endure my ass

**spicy~** : you were singing the opening to black butler

**spicy~** : i seen the way you look at him

**spicy~** : levy's seen it too

**airbender** : :o his man crush

**spicy~** : I'VE SEEN THE WAY YOU LOOK AT SEBASTIAN

**theblues** : I CAN'T HELP IT!

**yin** : wait what were we here for

**yang** : uhhhhhhhhhh, something

**yin** : sting

**yin** : just be quiet

**yang** : :(

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what have I created (this isn't even the worst of what I have planned)


	23. We're disasters but that's fine with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> winter spirit added alcoholic to Your turn
> 
> winter spirit: your turn bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be published five days ago but stuff happens and i'm here now
> 
> StarfireXL- don't cry that wasn't my intention! I'm happy you really liked it, also I read ALL the comments (even if I don't reply right away). And spam me all you want, it honestly brings a smile to my face by going back and reading them, they really help me with my day. And yes, LET THE BABIES GHOST
> 
> Tellescora- oh my god i can't believe i forgot about Zeref! I also really like your idea so don't mind me while i just borrow it

**winter spirit** created a new chatroom

**winter spirit** changed chatroom name to Your turn 

**winter spirit** added **alcoholic** to Your turn

**winter spirit** : your turn bitch

**alcoholic** : I DONT NEED A FUCKING WINGMAN

**winter spirit** : YES YOU FUCKING DO

**winter spirit** : TAKE MY LOVE AND ADVICE

**alcoholic** : NO

**winter spirit** : YOU WILL TAKE IT WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT

**alcoholic** : MY GAY ASS DOESN'T WANT YUR HELP

**winter spirit** : WELL TOO FUCKING BAD UR TAKING TO LONG

**alcoholic** : SHE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE ME BACK

**alcoholic** : I JUST PURCHASE ALCOHOL FROM HER

**winter spirit** : BITCH IS U BLIND?????

**winter spirit** : SHE GUSHES TO ME ABOUT YOU

**winter spirit** : ASKS ME QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

**winter spirit** : SELLS ALCOHOL TO YOU IN ORDER TO SEE YOU MORE

**winter spirit** : IS TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO CONFESS TO YOU

**alcoholic** : ....

**alcoholic** : really?

**winter spirit** : dont start sounding like an insecure lucy

**alcoholic** : she'll kick you for that

**winter spirit** : fine by me

**winter spirit** : it's not like you to be afraid

**alcoholic** : you can't tell but i'm laughing

**winter spirit** : crying slightly too?

**alcoholic** : u so know me

**alcoholic** : fine then

**alcoholic** : tomorrow i'll do it

**alcoholic** : i'll take her somewhere nice

**alcoholic** : and i'll grow some balls and do it

**winter spirit** : you can't tell but i'm laughing

**alcoholic** : haha very cute

**winter spirit** : when did we start yelling sweet things to each other?

**alcoholic** : when we refused to listen as children

**alcoholic** : it just kinda stuck?

**winter spirit** : we're disasters

**alcoholic** : yes we are

**alcoholic** : ty lil shit

**winter spirit** : np stubborn ass

* * *

 

**winter spirit** created a new chatroom

**winter spirit** changed chatroom name to Tomorrow

**winter spirit** added **little miss demon** to Tomorrow

**little miss demon** : what did you do?

**winter spirit** : you'll see tomorrow

**winter spirit** : so get some sleep


	24. None of you are being helpful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alcoholic: kiss him
> 
> winter spirit: UR NOT HELPING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit 2,000 hits!
> 
> StarfireXL- don't worry this whole story is stupid, and that idea got a good laugh from me, it's perfect for here. So here it is, and I did change some parts

**winter spirit** : HALP

**strawberry cake** : what did u do this time?

**winter spirit** : natsu is about to kill someone what do i do

**alcoholic** : kiss him

**winter spirit** : UR NOT HELPING

**goldenkeys** : so why is he mad?

**winter spirit** : this random piece of trash kept hitting on me and wouldn't take no for an answer

**winter spirit** : so what does natsu do

**winter spirit** : he fucking smashes this dude's head into a wall

**winter spirit** : now he wont stop punching him

**little miss demon** : YES

**cobra** : mira wtf

**little miss demon** : do you not see this couple's power

**winter spirit** : mira you are not helping either

**winter spirit** : how do I stop this

**winter spirit** : is there an off switch?!

**rune** : no

**rune** : honestly just do what cana said

**rune** : it makes laxus stop

**winter spirit** : i dont get why this dude even liked me

**winter spirit** : i look like shit

**leo the lion** : *inhales*

**leo the lion** : BOI

**leo the lion** : U IS A SNACC

**alcoholic** : those muscles

**alcoholic** : mmmmm, U IS THICC

**winter spirit** : wtf....

**winter spirit** : i just dont want natsu to go to prison for murder

**winter spirit** : and ur this weird shit

**memecuisine** : HE PROTECC

**memecuisine** : HE THICC

**memecuisine** : but most importantly

**memecuisine** : HE A SNACC

**winter spirit** : ......

**memecuisine** : sorry i had to change some stuff so it doesnt have the same ring to it

**alcoholic** : close enough

**leo the lion** : wait change it towards natsu

**memecuisine** : :0

**memecuisine** : HE PROTECC

**memecuisine** : HE ATTACC

**memecuisne** : but most importantly

**memecuisine** : HE GOT YO BACC

**goldenkeys** : why are you adding another c?

**memecuisine** : oh, i didnt notice

**winter spirit** : ......

**spicy~** : loke, cana, bickslow

**spicy~** : mind meeting me behind the gym for a talk?

**leo the lion** : oh hell no

**spicy~** : but that will be easier

**spicy~** : besides i know where you sleep

**leo the lion** : 0-0

**winter spirit** : natsu

**spicy~** : yeeaass

**winter spirit** : please dont kill them

**winter spirit** : they were just playing around

**spicy~** : oh dont worry, they wont die

**spicy~** : gtg love you!

**goldenkeys** : what

**strawberry cake** : i have no idea what just happened

**winter spirit** : SOS HE ABOUT TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF SOME PEOPLE

**rune** : let's get popcorn then

**cobra** : i got some sodas

**winter spirit** : .....

**winter spirit** : alright


	25. It's just one of those days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theblues: if you guys dont leave him alone 
> 
> theblues: i'll make you eat glass
> 
> yang: that threat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday was one of those days for me, it didn't help that I had school and people wanting to talk to me. And I hated when people would ask if i was okay, saying crap like 'are you going to cry? do you need to step out for a minute? want me to take you to a counselor?' , like no i need you to not talk to me or just me leave be. Sorry this is kind of a rant chapter. 
> 
> sirius16- we can put gifs in comments? and tragic indeed
> 
> Tellescora- i like to please. The fic feels more special when adding other's ideas (if that even makes sense)

(in the chat of the unholy trinity of emos)

**rune** : erik?

**cobra** : ?

**rune** : you were quiet today

**rune** : something happen?

**winter spirit** : you didn't show much emotion either

**cobra** : it's just one of _those_ days

**cobra** : y'know

**cobra** : the kind where you can't really feel anything

**cobra** : where you don't want to talk or listen to anyone

**cobra** : where you think you barely exist at that moment

**cobra** : and you don't really know how or why 

**cobra** : why that day just shows up out of nowhere

**cobra** : and then the next day you're back to your normal self

**rune** : so you would rather be staring at the wall right now instead of being here?

**cobra** : sort of

**cobra** : yea

**cobra** : sorry

**winter spirit** : don't apologize

**winter spirit** : you do you

**rune** : talk to us when you're ready

**cobra** : thanks

* * *

 

**spicy~** created a new chatroom

**spicy~** changed chatroom name to dragon slayers

**spicy~** added **sparky** , **theblues** , **airbender** , **yin** , **yang** , and **cobra** to dragon slayers

**theblues** : dragon slayers, the fuck

**spicy~** : hey dragons are cool

**spicy~** : and if we ever fought one we could totally kick it's ass

**yang** : so why we here

**sparky** : are we talking about cobra

**spicy~** : yep

**spicy~** : cobra? 

**yin** : guys just leave him be today

**airbender** : i didn't see him today

**airbender** : is it one of those days?

**yin** : yes

**airbender** : guys leave him be!

**theblues** : those days????

**theblues** : you mean like one of ryos' days?

**yin** : yes but not exactly

**theblues** : if you guys dont leave him alone 

**theblues** : i'll make you eat glass

**yang** : that threat

**theblues** : i'll go through with it

**spicy~** : and I regret making this chat

**spicy~** : feel better cobra!

**airbender** : love you erik

**yin** : i'll help cook your favorite tomorrow if your up to it

**yang** : lets do a movie night, your pick

**theblues** : i'll shut up for the night

**sparky** : i'll sneak you some weapons back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah it's short but i can't think of much to write


	26. What the actual fuck??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theblues: someone needed to be sacrificed to the box gods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not joking, everything except the first part happened at school Friday. It was a 'What the actual fuck' kind of day
> 
> StarfireXL- thank you for enjoying this and giving me ideas. I feel fine now but thank you for the love and support

~(unholy trinity of emos)~

**cobra** : you know what

**cobra** : ear infections are a bitch

**rune** : back to the usual cobra

**winter spirit** : wear a fucking hat then, it's like 2 degrees outside

**cobra** : stfu 

**cobra** : all you ever wear outside are some jeans

**winter spirit** : you got me there

* * *

~(at ze main chat)~

**strawberry cake** : ok who the fuck did it?

**water woman** : did what

**strawberry cake** : you know what

**bitch im a bird** : it wasnt me

**goldenkeys** : i dont have the arm strength to do that

**bookworm** : you can kick hard though

**kinana** : i didn't do it

**goldenkeys** : we didnt think you did

**alcoholic** : shit that might have been me

**alcoholic** : but im drunk so i dont know

**leo the lion** : is this about the bathrooms again?

**bookworm** : yes

**medusa** : okay

**medusa** : who ripped the sink out of the wall in the girls bathroom

**little miss demon** : i dont think it was any of us but im not sure

**theblues** : what the hell

**romeo** : are you guys okay over there

**101 clones** : no

**mulan** : wait was that the downstairs bathroom?

**mulan** : all the stall doors upstairs have been destroyed

**little miss demon** : hi bisca

**mulan** : hi

**mulan** : but i have no idea whats going on

**sparky** : i tore the handle off of a sink in the locker room

**memecuisine** : did you also destroy one of the urinals?

**sparky** : that one wasn't me

**MAN** : who's vaping in the bathrooms again?

**leo the lion** : i think it's the first years

**theblues** : in choir we could smell weed in the vents

**little miss demon** : i heard someone stashed some in the tech room

**sky empress** : college sounds great

**sky empress** : everyone just gets into fights here

**airbender** : chelia we have class

**airbender** : you too romeo

**sky empress** : yes ma'am

**spicy~** : can we go back to the good old days

**yang** : what good old days

**spicy~** : where we could actually use bathrooms

**gramps** : LAXUS

**gramps** : you broke the handle?!

**sparky** : at least i didn't rip the whole sink out!

**strawberry cake** : bless the lord i have no classes tomorrow

* * *

 

**theblues** : some of us are nearly 20

**theblues** : and we still hoard bubble wrap like our life depends on it

**water woman** : we lost someone to the box

**theblues** : wait who

**water woman** : i have no idea

**little miss demon** : i question choir every day

**little miss demon** : i couldn't stop laughing though

**sky empress** : are y'all okay

**theblues** : no

**water woman** : our professor ordered a new piano which arrived today

**water woman** : so much bubble wrap

**sky empress** : no one can resist bubble wrap

**sky empress** : box?

**little miss demon** : someone put the box over their head

**little miss demon** : all you could see was the bottoms of their shoes as they tried to walk around

**theblues** : someone needed to be sacrificed to the box gods

**theblues** : it was the only way to earn bubble wrap 

**sky empress** : y'all need help

**water woman** : yes honestly

 


	27. Just random stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is just a lot of ideas that I couldn't think of anything else to add so they're just really small snippets  
> This chapter is literally the dorks being dorks
> 
> Tellescora- Zeref and Mavis will show up at some point but i'm still working on that. As for your issue, i have no idea how to fix that, so sorry

**yang** : so

**yang** : aliens

**yin** : no

**yang** : why?

**yin** : i had to listen to you rant about aliens ALL of yesterday

**yin** : you had your moment now shut up

**goldenkeys** : damn

**yang** : lucy you like aliens?

**goldenkeys** : ye

**yang** : alien buddies?

**goldenkeys** : of course

**yang** : hah!

**yang** : see rogue!

**yang** : i dont need you to be my alien buddy!

**yin** : does it look like i give a shit?

**yang** : T~T

**yang** : ur no fun

* * *

 

**winter spirit** : bitch never told me how her date went

**alcoholic** : IT WAS VERY NICE THANK YOU

**winter spirit** : YOUR WELCOME NOW GO BE A GAY MESS

**alcoholic** : YOU TOO BYE

**winter spirit** : BYE

**strawberry cake** : wait what happened?

**strawberry cake** : guys?

* * *

 

**theblues** : i hate being high 

**theblues** : footsteps everywhere

**water woman** : are you walking?

**theblues** : oh shit

**water woman** : wait how did you get high?

**theblues** : sharpies

**water woman** : ......

**water woman** : ok then

* * *

 

**leo the lion** : 80% exhaustion

**leo the lion** : 15% sarcasm

**leo the lion** : 30% doesn't care

**little miss demon** : loke, that's 125%

**leo the lion** : 30% of me doesn't care

**sky empress** : ArE yOu OkAY?

**leo the lion** : nah :)

**sky empress** : .....

* * *

 

**romeo** : hast thou heard of the latest scandal of the king?

**airbender** : Nay wench, spilleth the tea

**sky empress** : i swear

**sky empress** : y'all need help

**romeo** : we're reading shakespeare

**romeo** : how could you not use such a perfect opportunity

**romeo** : to use old weird english

**sky empress** : tru

* * *

 

**bookworm** : *screeches*

**spicy~** : *screeches louder*

**bookworm** : *Screeches with T pose*

**spicy~** : *Screeches with taller T pose*

**bookworm** : f u

**bookworm** : fine we can watch the dub ver

**spicy~** : fuck yea

**bookworm** : too fucking lazy to read sub

**spicy~** : excuse you


	28. draw the fucking boxes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> water woman: lucy is looking at her phone in such disbelief
> 
> bookworm: i feel second-hand disbelief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back, back again? So to start this off i'm sorry that I haven't been updating at all. May has been a shit month. School is over in 3 weeks so teachers are cramming everything in, my anxiety levels are spiking constantly, and i might have to get surgery soon because of a problem in my right hand. So life in fantastic right now
> 
> RenegadeStorm- i honestly love both. Some anime are better in sub or dub. I might switch to sub because i can't wait for the dub to come out
> 
> _gbunny7- Lucy said same to levy's phobia, Somniphobia, as in they had the same phobia
> 
> sirius16- sis it don't

**goldenkeys** : okay bitches i need to rant

**goldenkeys** : so im in the group in bio

**goldenkeys** : me, this one chick and dude

**goldenkeys** : we had to white board something with how elodea reacts to salt water, regular water, or its own water

**goldenkeys** : so we have like 10-15 mins to do this

**goldenkeys** : and i thought it would go faster if two of us worked on it

**goldenkeys** : so i draw the boxes for before and after an i label shit

**goldenkeys** : and i turn to the people

**goldenkeys** : "Who wants to help?" "no thnks"- said the girl, but she does a ton of work anyways so i was fine with that. "Nah"- the dude says who doesnt do anything but talk and sleep

**goldenkeys** : and im like nah bitch you dont do shit

**goldenkeys** : so im like "just draw it, it looks like bricks

**goldenkeys** : bitch takes it with a sigh and slow draws it, but only for one box on the before side, while im doin all of the after shit

**goldenkeys** : motherfucker sits there for five min, then finally asks the other girl if she wants to help

**goldenkeys** : like bitch what?!

**goldenkeys** : just drwa the fucking boxs, IS IT THAT HARD TO DRAW THE FUCKING BOXSSSSSSSSSSSSS

**goldenkeys** : i feel better now

**bookworm** : thats tough sis

**goldenkeys** : T_T

**goldenkeys** : then our professor didnt even look at it

**goldenkeys** : all that anger for nothing

**strawberry cake** : i was watching you slowly lose it

**goldenkeys** : couldnt come over and help?

**strawberry cake** : it was too entertaining

**goldenkeys** : ....

**water woman** : lucy is looking at her phone in such disbelief

**bookworm** : i feel second-hand disbelief

* * *

 

**spicy~** changed chatroom name to Untold secrets of my siblins

**spicy~** : sting plays with other people's hair to relax

**yang** : shut up natsu!

**rune** : laxus does that too

**winter spirit** : weird, so does natsu

**leo the lion** : i think you misspelled kinks with secrets

**101 clones** : please dont share what you do in bed

**alcoholic** : no PLEASE share

**101 clones** : cana shut it

**little miss demon** : wait do all of your siblings do that

**cobra** : i dont

**yin** : ^

**theblues** : ^

**airbender** : i do sometimes

**airbender** : but not in _that_ way

**spicy~** : ....

**spicy~** : how did my idea become this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lucy i feel your pain, because i was you
> 
> and yeah this ended on a weird note but i suddenly wanted to switch stories, so i did


	29. Siblings live together and die together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sparky: can we just threaten them one last time before nearly killing them?
> 
> yang: I'll do it!
> 
> yin: love no, you're awful at scaring highschool children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAYYYYYY I'm not dead! School ends tomorrow and then I have to work at my brother's graduation party Saturday and still getting supplies today
> 
> Tellescora- hand status: it dont hurt but is a cause for concern and probably needs a doctor but it gotta wait. But hell ya summers tomorrow!
> 
> Also i dont remember if we had a sibling chat but we do now!

**airbender** has created a new chatroom

**airbender** changed chatroom name to Siblings live together and die together

**airbender** added **spicy~** , **sparky** , **theblues** , **cobra** , **yin** , and **yang** to Siblings live together and die together

**airbender:** which degree of murder is least likely to put me in prison?

**theblues:** wendy no

**theblues:** we'll murder for you

**yang:** who was it?! bullies???

**airbender:** yeah...

**airbender:** i've tried to get them to stop but they wont

**yin:** so you want to murder them?

**airbender:** yep!

**yin:** i have a better idea

**yin:** remember when i had bullies?

**yang:** yeah i got rid off them for you!

**yin:** no you didnt

**yang:** :o

**yang:** you lied?!

**yin:** doesnt matter now

**yin:** anyway i poisoned them

**yin:** just the correct dosage not to kill them but ruin their health forever :)

**theblues:** what kind of poison

**yin:** a secret

**airbender:** wait really

**yin:** ye

**yang:** holy shit is that why they transferred

**yin:** yep

**airbender:** perfect!

**sparky:** can we just threaten them one last time before nearly killing them?

**yang:** I'll do it!

**yin:** love no, you're awful at scaring highschool children

**theblues:** i wanna do it

**yang:** no way!

**yang:** im not letting rogue steal best brother status without a fight!

**theblues:** well im not losing to you bitch!

**sparky:** wendy wanna go get some dairy queen?

**airbender:** yes please

**cobra:** smooth

**theblues:** a bit late there

**cobra:** im not good with this shit

**cobra:** almost went to prison before i seriously gotta watch it

**yang** : yet you still go do illegal shit with ice and grass

**cobra:** way to call me and my emos out like that sting

 

* * *

(Idk, next day?)

**yang:** shit

**yang:** scaring them didnt work

**yin:** i knew it wouldnt

**yin:** already poisoned them

**yin:** results should come in before ur 3hr

**airbender:** rogue i love you!

**yin:** :)

**spicy~:** shit whats going on?!

**yang:** done sucking your bf off?

**spicy~:** fuck off sting just because ur not wendy's favorite

**yang:** :(

**spicy~:** wendy!

**spicy~:** next time u bullied tell me!

**theblues:** naw im next on scaring!

**theblues:** wait in line you gecko

**spicy~:** >:O

**spicy~:** how DARE you

**spicy~:** I AM A DRAGON!

**theblues:** mushu?

**spicy~:** MUSHU HELPED MULAN SAVE CHINA

**theblues:** he was still the gong gecko

**spicy~:** ohmygod i am so offended right now

**spicy~:** how dare you disrespect mushu!

**yin:** so im favorite brother?

**airbender:** you got me out of murder and got rid of my bullies

**airbender:** of course!

**yin:** sweet

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanted some sibling love


	30. god help these children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bookworm: this random dude sees gajeel's piercings
> 
> bookworm: "Dude if you replace all those with staples i'll give you $100"
> 
> memecuisine: holy fuck
> 
> memecuisine: where is this dude i'll join in
> 
> bookworm: ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will hopefully clear up any confusion on the concept of the siblings. So Tellescora is right, they are all adopted. That being said none of them are actually related and only see each other as siblings, with sting and rogue seeing each other as lovers. They all see each other as family but the sting and rogue relationship isn't incest. Does that make any sense???  
> Sorry for confusing CCat24 and hadeskidsarelit666

(main gc)

**rune** changed their name to **grass**

**winter spirit** changed their name to **ice**

**grass:** fuck you sting i like this name

**ice:** we own this shit

**yang:** wtf

**yang:** who the hell told you about that

**cobra:** i got my emos' back bitch

**yang:** .....

* * *

 

(holy trinity of emos)

**ice:** ccccooooobruhhhhh

**cobra:** no i am not helping your drunk ass back to your dorm

**ice:** that's not it!

**ice:** i got erza coming

**ice:** no way in hell am i sleeping on loke's couch

**cobra:** why is your text suddenly normal?

**ice:** not thaaat drunk

**ice:** but tipsy enough that i shouldn't walk back alone

**ice:** knowing me i'll fall out a closed window

**cobra:** how tf does that happen

**ice:** don't know don't care

**ice:** back to the original idea

**ice:** u w/ kinana yet?

**cobra:** fuck off

**cobra:** my love life is none of your damn business

**ice:** but freed and i got our mans

**ice:** u need ur woman

**ice:** i am the #1 wingman

**cobra:** ur the ONLY wingman

**cobra:** no one else is brave enough to try and get involved with us

**cobra:** we'd probably get them killed on accident 

**grass:** tru

**cobra:** where were you?

**grass:** sleeping

**grass:** cuddling with my mans

**grass:** like you should be w/ ur woman in your closet

**cobra:** you can fuck off too

**grass:** love you too

**grass:** now hurry the wingman shit up gray

**grass:** i wanna sleep in peace knowing ur not dead and cobra isn't sleeping in a cold closet

**grass:** get ur girl to make it toasty

**cobra:** go tf back to sleep

**ice:** bye freed

**grass:** goodluck dont die bye

**ice:** what i gotta do to get u and kinana together

**ice:** :O

**ice:** kidnap ur snake so u 2 go on a rescue mission together

**cobra:** ur drunker than i thought

**ice:** no no its geniusssnjnjjsodeneh

**cobra:** did you fall out a window?

**ice:** he fell down the stairs- erza

**cobra:** did he die?

**ice:** did you want him too?- erza

**cobra:** do you want an answer?

**ice:** no thanks, taking him back to his room now, bye- erza

**cobra:** ....bye

**cobra:** whenever you two return,

**cobra:** IM ALREADY WORKING ON GETTING A DATE!!!!!!!!

**cobra:** SO STFU

**grass:** good for you so go to sleep

* * *

 

(main gc)

**theblues** changed their name to **staple**

**MAN:** wtf?

**memecuisine:** gajeel go take a nap

**bookworm:** somebody come here and make him stop

**MAN:** ????

**bookworm:** this random dude sees gajeel's piercings

**bookworm:** "Dude if you replace all those with staples i'll give you $100"

**memecuisine** : holy fuck

**memecuisine:** where is this dude i'll join in

**bookworm:** ....

**MAN:** hold on i'm getting mira

**little miss demon:** gajeel i swear i will find you

**staple:** and do what?

**little miss demon:** first make your girlfriend stop being upset over your stupid self decisions

**staple:** oooooo so scary

**MAN:** you idiot she'll kill you

**bookworm:** mira i give you my full permission to do whatever punishment you deem necessary 

**alcoholic:** sexual punishment?

**bookworm:** sorry mira, but im going to suffocate your girlfriend

**memecuisine:** holy fuck he's almsot dune??!!

**grass:** fucking christ learn how to spell bickslow

**memecuisine:** shut up freed i live my life how i want

**grass:** ......

**memecuisine:** holy fuck i know who would be perfect for this

**memecuisne** changed chatroom name to who can take more staples?!

**memecuisine** added **i can hold my liquor better** to who can take more staples?!

**alcoholic:** fuck you bicks

**i can hold my liquor better:** still jealous cana?

**alcoholic:** stfu bacchus

**i can hold my liquor better:** hold up we're stapling our faces?!

**i can hold my liquor better:** fuck yea!!!!

**bookworm:** god help me


	31. please wash your carrots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bitch im a bird: ಠ_ಠ
> 
> leo the lion: ಠ_ಠ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the carrot situation happened i'm not kidding I had to sit witness to it
> 
> CCat24- welcome
> 
> StarfireXL- wingman will return again, someday

(main gc)

**staple:** yo i have some weird shit to talk about

**little miss demon:** is this about today?

**staple:** yes

**leo the lion:** ????

**bitch im a bird:** did someone do some weird shit again?

**little miss demon:** band and choir are weird

**little miss demon:** but band especially 

**leo the lion:** didnt you lose someone to the box gods in choir?

**leo the lion:** what's weirder?

**staple:** bitch you would be surprised

**staple:** so you know Yuka?

**bitch im a bird:** who

**staple:** dude with the giant eyebrows

**staple:** he's apparently good at keyboard

**staple:** anyway the dude is weird in general

**staple:** but today

**staple:** dude is fucking weird

**leo the lion:** but what did he do??

**staple:** brought in a ENTIRE BAG OF CARROTS

**staple:** AND WAS JUST EATING THEM

**staple:** STRAIGHT UP NOT EVEN WASHING THEM

**bitch im a bird:** eww

**little miss demon** added **thiccbrow** to who can take more staples?!

**bitch im a bird:** yuka wtf

**thiccbrow:** they tasted fine

**leo the lion:** dude they are covered in dirt

**thiccbrow:** that added flavor

**bitch im a bird:**   **ಠ_ಠ**

**leo the lion:**   **ಠ_ಠ**

**thiccbrow:** you haven't even tried it

**bitch im a bird:** you disgust me

**leo the lion:** get out

**thiccbrow** left who can take more staples?!

**spicy~** added **thiccbrow** to who can take more staples?!

**spicy~:** NO oNe LeAvES

**leo the lion:** where the fuck have you been??

**spicy~:** working on something special

**thiccbrow:** i dont even know you people

* * *

 

**yang:** alien buddy??

**goldenkeys:** sí?

**sparky** : i cant read spanish!

**yang:** WE ARE NOT TALKING TO YOU!!

**goldenkeys:** you cant even read a single yes?

**sparky:** sorry that i never passed spanish 1

**yang:** lets just talk in spanish

**yang:** so no one can interfere 

**yin:** nearly everyone here passed spanish 1 and 2 

**yin:** we are gonna know some of what you're saying

**yang:** you never went to spanish 3

**yin:** then who the fuck helped you learn it?

**yin:** a ghost?

**yang:** .......

**yang:** you helped

**goldenkeys:** sting i made a chat

**yang:** bye bitches

* * *

 

**goldenkeys** made a new chatroom

**goldenkeys** changed chatroom name to alien buddies

**goldenkeys** added **yang** to alien buddies

**yang:** yasssss

**yang:** okay i wanted to talk to you about what went down yesterday

**yang:** did you SEE thos colorful lights?!

**goldenkeys:** the red and blue ones?

**yang:** yes!

**yang:** at first i thought it was a police car

**goldenkeys:** flying cars arent here yet

**yang:** as soon as i realized that i screamed

**yang:** which woke rogue up and he tried to strangle me

**yang:** so i dont know what else happened

**goldenkeys:** it hovered in the air for about a minute

**goldenkeys:** then im not kidding

**goldenkeys:** it fucking nyooomed away

**goldenkeys:** toward the university

**yang:** holy fuck

**yang:** you think it landed around there??!!!?

**goldenkeys:** it might have!!

**goldenkeys:** we have to go look for it

**yang:** yess!!!!

**yang:** how soon

**goldenkeys:** tonight! we have no work

**yang:** meet up at 10?

**goldenkeys:** yes!


	32. hidden wingwoman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ice: bitch did a sneak around oh shit
> 
> alcoholic: erik~ what chu gonna do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HappyWonKinobi- this one person was super weird and im here to expose them. Lack of spelling usually bugs me too but with it being on purpose for something like this makes it better
> 
> WendyFlowers- something amazing to him but will be crazy to me

**spicy~** changed chatroom name to let's play a game

**leo the lion:** what happened to your 'project'

**spicy~:** taking a quick break

**thi** **ccbrow:** who the hell are you people

**thiccbrow:** wait hold on

**thicc** **brow** added **off-brandjackfrost** to let's play a game

**ice:** what the fuck

**off-brandjackfrost:** gray

**ice:** lyon

**alcoholic:** aww shit

**spicy~:** game time!

**ice:** lyon go fuck yourself

**off-brandjackfrost:** go fall down a flight of stairs

**spicy~:** GAME

**spicy~:** TIME

**goldenkeys:** can this wait till tomorrow

**yang:** yea some of us have work to do

**yin:** bullshit

**strawberry cake:** what are we doing?

**little miss demon:** erza its been awhile

**strawberry cake:** i just recently got a job

**spicy~:** we are playing

**spicy:** what would you do if.......

**spicy~:** so whos first

**grass:** laxus

**sparky:** hm?

**grass:** what would you do if i died?

**cobra:** freed chill

**medusa:** freed not right off the bat

**off-brandjackfrost:** is this the crazy dude that you talk to gray

**ice:** i never said he was crazy

**ice:** wait i never told you about him

**ice:** bitch are you going through my phone?!

**sparky:** easy, kill everyone in this chat and then myself

**grass:** that way we can go to hell together!

**grass:**  ♡

**sparky:**  ♡

**bitch im** **a** **bird:** why does that look so innocent compared to where it came from

**memecuisine:** found a good one freed

**grass:** :)

**sparky:** my turn then?

**sparky:** lis?

**bitch im** **a** **bird:** yeah?

**sparky:** what would you do if you could see color?

**spicy~:** wait ur colorblind?

**water woman:** you have been friends with her for how long???

**101 clones:** ur an even bigger dumbass than i thought

**spicy~:** shhhh its one mistake

**bitch im a bird:** i would go to the most colorful place on earth

**bitch im a bird:** kinana

**kinana:** yes?

**bitch im a bird:** what would you do if erik asked you out?

**ice:** :O

**grass:** :O

**airbender:** :O

**strawberry cake:** :O

**goldenkeys:** :O

**bookworm:** :O

**yang:** :O

**i can hold my liquor better:** oh shit..

**kinana:** i would say yes

**staple:** ahhhh

**water woman:** aahhhhhh

**leo the lion:** aaaahhhhhh

**ice:** bitch did a sneak around oh shit

**alcoholic:** erik~ what chu gonna do

**kinana:** erik?

**cobra:** ???

**kinana:** what would you do if i said yes??

**cobra:** die on the spot

**ice:** bitch wrong answaer

**grass:** cobra bitch cmon

**cobra:** IWOULDTAKEYOUOUT

**alcoholic:** on a date or with a sniper rifle?

**bookworm:** well?? the lady is waiting

**cobra:** date

**gramps:** WHY IS MY HOUSE FULL OF SCREAMING CHILDREN?!

**gramps:** oh

**gramps:** congratulations

**gramps:** now please shut up

**goldenkeys:** oh shit boi we gotta go

**yang:** yep gotts gon

**yin:** tf?

**yin:** where

**yin:** sting you better answer me

**yin:** well i have to go get im bye

**spicy~:** well i still got work bye

**ice:** but we barely played the game

**staple:** everyone is leaving anyway

**off-brandjackfrost:**  bitch did you break my favorite plate

**ice:** why are you going after me

**ice:** ultear is the one who sneaks into your room all the time

**off-brandjackfrost:**  and you never told me this why

**ice:** because ur an ass


	33. danny devito because why not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alcoholic: i mean they are dicks
> 
> alcoholic: this dude with a month name threatened to kill me once
> 
> spicy~: see!
> 
> spicy~: they threatened to get our school destroyed
> 
> spicy~: i am not taking this shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for disappearing for almost 3 weeks, busy doing family things. Like two birthdays this month that are a few days apart and around the first week of August i'll be up north for a couple of days enjoying nature
> 
> so many thanks for these comments
> 
> StarfieXL- thanks for existing too
> 
> Tennielover299- thank you for reading
> 
> Mothology101- thanks
> 
> Tellescora- <3

**spicy~** changed the chatroom name to let's kick ass

**grass:** sounds fun

**bookworm:** is this your project?

**spicy~:** get ready for chaos

**spicy~** added **what'sashirt?, feathers,** **daddy issues, babyangel, naruto, angel, timetravelbish, ultear'sbff, beautyoflove, wakemewhenimdead, flash, rocksaint, forlove!, woof, prettyboi, stopcallingme12, tsundere, cuterthanmira, fuckujellal, spider, countryboi, cutechub,** and **meow** to let's kick ass

**memecuisine:**  who the fuck?

**alcoholic:** nope

**alcoholic:** i dont know half of you people

**spicy~:** i have called all of you here today to discuss something important

**strawberry cake:** your grammar has greatly improved

**spicy~:** we have a common enemy

**spicy~:** Alvarez

**cobra:....?**

**angel:** cobra!

**angel:** so this is where you've been!

**cobra:** not the time Sorano

**leo the lion:** alvarez is just another school ntasu

**spicy~:** um no

**spicy~:** they threatened us

**ice:** if they said they are better than us

**ice:** i will slap you

**spicy~:** thats not all!

**alcoholic:** i mean they are dicks

**alcoholic:** this dude with a month name threatened to kill me once

**spicy~:** see!

**spicy~:** they threatened to get our school destroyed

**spicy~:** i am not taking this shit

**grass:** i'll help

**medusa:** freed what the fuck

**grass:** i like to kick ass

**staple:** any excuse to hurt someone i'll take

**leo the lion:**   **ಠ_ಠ**

**bookworm:** if gajeel will then fine

**101clones:** you do realize that everyone is in class

**101clones:** thats why people aren't super active

**spicy~:** oh, thats why its so quiet

* * *

 

**memecuisine:** i am the broom guardian, guardian of the broom

**bitch im a** **bird:** coyotes quiver before him

**memecuisine:** fuck off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**leo the lion:**   **ಠ_ಠ**

**memecuisine:** loke fuck off w/ that face

**leo the lion:** no

**airbender:** wait so you werent joking around when you took a broom into the woods

**bitch im a bird:** wait where is my broom?

**memecuisine:** i ventured off into the woods to fight coyotes

**bitch im a bird:** did you take my broom

**memecuisine:** ..... yes?

**memecuisine:** lis why are you calling me?

**memecuisine:** i feel like if i dont answer then ill be in deep shit

**memecuisine:** hold the fuck up

**memecusine:** why do you want to know my location

**memecuisine:** why do your siblings want to know my location?!

**memecuisine:** its just a broom!

**bitch im a bird:** elfman gave me that broom after my other one broke

**memecuisine:** ........

**memecuisine:** buthgfnmkcfjdke

**leo the lion:** and we lost him

**ice:** who goes into the woods looking for coyotes?

**leo the lion:** apparently bickslow

* * *

 

**bookworm:** give him back gajeel!

**staple:** no!

**staple:** hes our now!

**bookworm:** he belongs with the drama club!

**goldenkeys:** did he steal him again?!

**little miss demon:** he seems to like it here with us

**goldenkeys:** juviaaaaaa

**water woman:** sorry my love but he stays with us!

**medusa:**  hes our mascot!

**medusa:** give him back!

**bookworm:** im taking him back today

**sparky:** tf is going on

**goldenkeys:** they took Danny DeVito!

**sparky:** ...wtf....

**staple:** they made a large cutout of danny devito

**staple:** all you do with him is move him around the room each morning

**medusa:** he gives good morale support before a show

**little miss demon:** he likes to listen to the band play

**bookworm:** he can listen from our room down the hall

**sparky:** ....

**sparky:** take this shit somewhere else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes the cutout of danny devito is a real thing at school, the drama club has ownership of him


	34. fight fight fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> memecuisine: this shit is gonna be awesome
> 
> memecuisine: im gonna go make shirts for this
> 
> sparky: do they remember that gramps is on here?
> 
> memecuisine: ...
> 
> memecuisine: ask him if he wants a shirt too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't regret this
> 
> HappyWonKinobi- is this like discord? i have never been on it
> 
> darkvampirekisses- thanks for enjoying this along with the cookies and cocoa :)

**yin** created a new chatroom 

**yin** changed chatroom name to the fuck are you doing?

**yin** added **yang** to the fuck are you doing?

**yang** added **goldenkeys** to the fuck are you doing?

**yang:** we in this together

**yin:** what the hell???

**goldenkeys:** smetng cased behd the school we cheking it ut

**goldenkeys:** ard to tye and walkn

**yang:** aliens rogue

**yang:** aliens

**yin:** just please dont get arrested

**yang:** y would we

**yin:** both of you are trespassing 

**goldenkeys:** its not a crime if we dont get caught

**yang:** yass

**yin:** ...

**yin:** guys i hate to break it to you (not rly tho)

**yin:** but if it really is aliens

**yin:** then somebody probably already found them

**yin:** but its most likely not aliens

**yin:** and both of you were just high

**goldenkeys:** rog sho

**yin:** are you ok

**goldenkeys** changed their name to celestialqueen

**yin:** ????

**celestialqueen:** i wanted a name change

**yang:** yass queen

**yin:** fuck it im going to sleep

**yin:** sting you can sleep on the couch

**yang:** wha

**yang:** but the couch is cold

**yang:** i wanna snuggle :(

**yin:** go snuggle with erik in the closet

**yang:** but he'll screech in my ear

**yang:** your soft and quiet and snuggly

**celestialqueen:** thats gay

**yin:** lucy i have a feeling you're on something

**celestialqueen:** well your not rong

**yin:** and im calling your girlfriend before i kick myself from this chat

**celestialqueen:** NO

**celestialqueen:**  gkgemfmsklmdk

**yang:** fkfksfksmkflm

**yin:** i swear if both of you are dead

**yang:** aliens

**yang:** alien ship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**yin:** -_-

**yin:** im calling gramps

* * *

 

(main chat)

**memecuisine:** freed i just organized your murder

**grass:** what the fuck

**memecuisine:** i got this call from an unknown number

**memecuisine:** i dont think they knew who i was but they sounded familiar

**memecuisine:** and they didnt say your name but the description was you

**memecuisine:** i dont think they knew me either, thought i was someone else

**memecusine:** but now we will murder you

**grass:** how?

**memecuisine:** bury you alive

**grass:** pleasant

**feathers:** that was me

**memecuisine:** who?

**feathers:** my name is rufus

**memecuisine:** oh

**memecuisine:** the knock-off version of freed with blond hair

**feathers:** now you're on the murder list too

**memecuisine:** aww we could've been murder buddies

**grass:** the fuck have i done to you

**feathers:** what your friend said

**feathers:** were practically the same but you think your soooo much better

**grass:** i dont think

**grass:** i know i am

**feathers:** oh really?

**grass:** i mean

**grass:** at least i dont go to class each day looking like i just left a masquerade party

**grass:** or try to show of my knowledge because im desperate for attention

**grass:** or lug around my boyfriend all day who cant be bothered to wear a shirt

**feathers:** he has shirts

**grass:** where??

**feathers:** he looks better without them

**grass:** honey

**grass:** no one wants to look at your mans

**memecuisine:** 0.0

**grass:** if you want to prove me wrong then how about a fight?

**sparky:** freed stop

**grass:** no

**grass:** if that hoe wants to start something then he needs a good beating

**feathers:** bold of you to assume i cant win that fight

**grass:**  you think you could???

**feathers:** i've taken self defense classes

**grass:** pfft

**grass:** bitch

**grass:** do you know who i am

**grass:** who i hang out with

**grass:** aint no self defense classes are going to save you

**feathers:** name a time, place, and rules

**feathers:** let's see how quickly i can put you down

**grass:** oh im getting excited

**grass:** walmart parking lot, a week from now at 5:30, and you cant have anyone fight for you or with you

**grass:** you can bring weapons if you want

**feathers:** a parking lot really

**grass:** i got people there who wouldn't call the cops

**grass:** practically a good street fight

**feathers:** alright

**feathers:** i accept

**grass:** good

**grass:** dont pussy out of this

**feathers:** you dont either

**sparky:** ...

**memecuisine:** holy shit

**memecuisine:** this shit is gonna be awesome

**memecuisine:** im gonna go make shirts for this

**sparky:** do they remember that gramps is on here?

**memecuisine:** ...

**memecuisine:** ask him if he wants a shirt too

* * *

**grass:** hey natsu?

**spicy~:** yes???

**grass:** you still owe me two favors right?

**spicy~:** .....

**spicy~:** no

**grass:** yes you do

**grass:** i have a very important task for you

**grass:** know who rufus is?

**spicy~:** yea

**grass:** i want you to take his hat

**grass:** and set it on fire in front of him

**grass:** so he can watch a prize possession burn

**spicy~:** i dont want the nickname 'the arsonist' to return

**spicy~:** why do you want me to do this

**grass:** so he'll have an actual reason to want to kill me instead of jealousy

**leo the lion:** laxus i brought you here to control him

**sparky:** nothing can stop him anymore

**leo the lion:** bickslow i want a shirt

**memecuisine:** $2

**leo the lion:**  sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what have i done


	35. float cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> grass: :o
> 
> grass: lying to your mans how mean roofie
> 
> feathers: dont fucking call me that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> didn't really feel like writing so not much happened
> 
> sirius16- yep, i only realized a week ago how similar they were
> 
> Tellescora- we just met 5 new people, thank you for your lovely comment

**what'sashirt?:** rufus please stop

**what'sashirt?:** freed will beat the shit out of you

**feathers:** are you taking his side

**what'sashirt?:** listen i fought his boyfriend before and lost

**what'sashirt?:** he said freed can be worse

**feathers:** too late now, bitch took it too far

**what'sashirt?:** im sorry about your hat

**feathers:** that bitch is gonna die

**grass:** did you like my surprise? :)

**feathers:** i hate you

**grass:** <3

**what'sashirt?:** rufus please, this is the 3rd fight this month

**feathers:** but orga, the month is almost over

**feathers:** besides last month was 7 this time i controlled myself better

**what'sashirt?:** you said it was two

**feathers:** no i said 7

**what'sashirt?:** no you didnt

**grass:** :o

**grass:** lying to your mans how mean roofie

**feathers:** dont fucking call me that

**grass:** orga im sorry you have to deal with him

**feathers:** im a great person!

**grass:** if you were then why do you defend yourself so rudely

**feathers:** orga am i great?

**what'sashirt?:** of course

**grass:** nope you cant ask him

**grass:** yukino!

**babyangel:** yes?

**grass:** no wait sorry

**grass:** you're too nice

**grass:** rogue

**yin:** ?

**grass:** is feather boy a great person?

**yin:** he's a person

**feathers:** i thought you bought the shirt for my side

**feathers:** you should have said yes

**yin:** i got the "it's free entertainment" shirt

**yin:** i dont care who wins

**babyangel:** i bought your side rufus

**feathers:** thank you yukino

**babyangel:** can i bake some cookies for the fight??

**yang:** your float cookies???

**babyangel:** of course!

**yang:** yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

**grass:** are you ok???

**yin:** you should have made that a surprise

**babyangel:**  sorry! i thought i should make some for people to enjoy during the fight

**yin:** its fine yuki, cookies sound great

**grass:** are they good

**yang:** BITCH YUKINO MAKES THE BEST COOKIES IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE

**grass:** can you chill

**yin:** he wont stop screaming

**babyangel:** sting

**yang:** YESSSSS????

**babyangel:** if you continue to scream i wont let you get any cookies

**yang:** yes ma'am

**yin:** it worked

**feathers:** im still going to kill you

**grass:** im excited 

* * *

 

**101 clones:** who is fuckujellal?

**strawberry cake:** kagura?

**fuckujellal:** hm?

**101 clones:** i thought we were over this whole hatred thing?

**fuckujellal:** no i never said that

**strawberry cake:** kagura, simon already forgave him

**fuckujellal:** well i didnt

**101 clones:** simon is fine

**fuckujellal:** YOU HIT HIM WITH YOUR CAR!

**101 clones:** it wasn't me it was ultear driving

**fuckujellal:** lies!

**101 clones:** ask simon what happened!

**fuckujellal:** you twisted his memory of what happened!

**101 clones:** jesus christ

**timetravelbish:**  kagura it was me

**timetravelbish:** we've been over this

**strawberry cake:** ....

**strawberry cake:** its been five minutes did she just leave

**meow:** i've told her we all forgave you guys but she's stubborn

**meow:** oh this is millianna btw

**strawberry cake:** millianna!

**meow:** erza!

**strawberry cake:** how have your studies been?

**meow:** they've been fun!

**meow:** sorry i gotta go

**meow:** kagura is about to pick a fight with this other girl

**meow:** bye bye!

 


	36. that summary sounds mean out of context

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> medusa: one day i just wanted to test it
> 
> medusa: so i walked into class in a see through white dress
> 
> medusa: one person looked up, said i look nice today, and went back to their work
> 
> celestialqueen: literally no one gives a shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this went from a rant to idk what (also my aunt reads this now since she took my phone right out of my hands...)
> 
> HappyWonKinobi- i constantly have to look at my notes to remember who is who, thank you so much for the appreciation <3
> 
> StarfireXL- i was thinking of adding rogue as soon as you gave me the idea of the unholy trinity but i didn't want to add him yet because he had too much sanity, but now after the 'poison your bullies' part he should be ready to join. Also yes to training under a bridge!

**celestialqueen:** ok i have to bitch about something again

**celestialqueen:** did anyone see those neon green pants that i was wearing?

**water woman:** they looked cute!

**medusa:** i want those pants

**celestialqueen:** you can have mine i dont really like them

**medusa:** cool

**bitch im a bird:** you walked past me this morning with them

**celestialqueen:** from where you guys were standing

**celestialqueen:** did they look see through?

**water woman:** nope

**medusa:** not at all

**bitch im an bird:** you shirt covered your ass so does it even matter?

**celestialqueen:** exactly!

**celestialqueen:** so this old hag who i dont know walks up to me

**celestialqueen:** 'you need to get changed right now i can see your underwear'

**celestialqueen:** excuse me why were you even looking at my butt huh?

**celestialqueen:** and my underwear was the exact shade of green so even if they were see through you wouldn't be able to tell

**celestialqueen:** she seriously had nothing better to do than wrongly dress code me

**water woman:** do we even have a dress code??

**bitch im a bird:** umm not really????

**bitch im a bird:** like as long as we dont walk in naked??

**water woman:** would anyone even care if we were naked

**medusa:** no

**medusa:** one day i just wanted to test it

**medusa:** so i walked into class in a see through white dress

**medusa:** one person looked up, said i look nice today, and went back to their work

**celestialqueen:** literally no one gives a shit

**celestialqueen:** we're all just focused on surviving through the week

**celestialqueen:** barely clinging on from the lack of sleep and overdosing on caffine

**water woman:**  she was probably jealous of your body

**bitch im a bird:** lolololololololololol

**medusa:** shes old and compared to a lot of professor probably not married

**medusa:** shes just trying to feel better about herself

**celestialqueen:** actually now that you mention it not a lot of the staff members are married

**medusa:** well gildarts goes from one woman to the next

**medusa:** porlyusica hates everyone

**medusa:** hades is fucking crazy

**medusa:** we dont even know about gramps

**medusa:** just to name a few

**bitch im a bird:** can we make a chat just to share dirt on the staff

**celestialqueen:** omg yes

**medusa:** were definitely adding all the girls

**medusa:** every girl has her own special way of finding dirt

**water woman:** are we saying dirt or tea

**celestialqueen:** is there a difference?

**celestialqueen:** is tea just a better way to say dirt

**medusa:** is there anyone else to add?

**celestialqueen:** should we add the emo trinity

**bitch im a bird:** oh lord who

**medusa:** freed, gray, and erik

**celestialqueen:** though i heard it wont be a trinity anymore

**celestialqueen:** they thought of adding rogue

**water woman:** poor child

**bitch im a bird:** didnt that 'child' poison several people

**water woman:** .....

**water woman:** the crazies are increasing

**medusa:** actually they thought of adding him before the whole attempted murder

**medusa:** but thought they shouldnt ruin him yet

**celestialqueen;** too bad he's losing it

**water woman:** i think he has a while before he joins cults

**medusa:** this place is a cult

**bitch im a bird:** hahsnhnjieienfc

**celestialqueen:** lis are you okay

**bitch im a bird:** noooooo

**bitch im a bird** changed their name to **bitchlolz**

**water woman:** are you drunk

**bitchlolz:** yes

**medusa:** not hesitant at all

**bitchlolz:** why lie

**bitchlolz:** but the new chat!

**celestialqueen:** ok so the girls, emos+rouge??, who else

**bitchlolz:** bicks' parrot

**water woman:** his parrot?

**bitchlolz:** that little shit is such a snitch

**bitchlolz:** but that should be it

**celestialqueen:** sounds good

**medusa:** let's make it later, tonight we're having a girls night

**bitchlolz:** sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost 6 years later and im still a little salty about the pants, i didn't like those pants but they were not see through


End file.
